


Ours are the moments I play in the dark

by edensrose



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Anal Sex, Angst, Bottom Louis, Exes to Lovers, M/M, Top Harry, regency au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:14:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 30,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21589834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edensrose/pseuds/edensrose
Summary: Jane Austen's Persuasion AU. Nine years ago Louis Tomlinson was persuaded to break off his engagement to Harry Styles, a poor sailor. Since then Louis has come to regret being so easily convinced to give up his one chance of happiness. Now Louis' family is in debt and his childhood home is being sold. In a complete reversal of fortune, Harry has returned to England a wealthy bachelor looking to settle down. Events conspire to bring them together once more though Louis is- must surely be- the last man on earth that Captain Styles would think of now.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik/Niall Horan
Comments: 101
Kudos: 767
Collections: Bottom Louis Fic Fest 2019





	Ours are the moments I play in the dark

England 1817

✥✥✥✥✥✥

Dust motes drifted through Louis Tomlinson’s childhood home. Servants were lifting furniture, hustling amongst themselves to empty the home Louis had spent all of his life in. He stood at the top of the grand staircase, feeling even smaller than usual. Kellynch Hall had been in his family for generations. It had also been his mother’s childhood home before she had passed away. Louis couldn’t bear thinking about leaving and yet he knew what must be done. 

His father, once an almost gentle man, had resorted to gambling after his wife’s death and now the Tomlinson family must pay the price. He still acted the lordly gentleman but now over a small apartment house in Bath. Louis shivered. He had no love for the city so lacking in forest, in space. His dearest wish had been to stay in Kellynch until his dying day. He knew it was not to be for Kellynch Hall was a grand house. There had already been offers for purchase.

The wooden bannister was rough underneath his hands, the air around him was still. He could not hope that he would ever be in this place again. Even now he could no longer think upon it as his home since he was considered a spinster and must be supported by his father. His younger sister, Lottie, was so excited to finally be going out into society and he could hardly blame her. She was so young and full of life. Louis felt as if his youth had been leeched away even though he was only twenty seven. It was still an age where he had long since had offers of marriage. In fact, he had only ever had one offer. His father had considered it an awful scandal when it had happened. It was not as if Louis had forgotten that time. It still reverberated in his mind. He had been too young and easily persuaded into thinking he was wrong. 

His hand crept up to the slender chain he kept hidden under his shirt. Harry’s signet ring was a heavy welcome weight against his chest. Once everything had been said and done, Louis never had the chance to give it back. He had not wanted to. The sweet and passionate love he had felt for Harry had been returned. For one short summer they had been everything to each other. 

Harry had been poor and if that was not enough to deter his father, his chosen occupation was a sailor.

“Real Gentlemen are not sailors, my boy,” his father had sneered.

His close friends had agreed, could not believe Louis had fallen for someone with no title. His mother also cautioned against Louis making a hasty marriage. Nineteen year old Louis was persuaded that love with no money could not last. He had turned Harry’s proposal down. If only he had seen what the future would bring. Love without monetary gain was better than no love at all. Harry had joined the navy immediately after Louis’ refusal. He had sent back all of Louis’ letters but had not asked for the ring. Louis’ mother fell ill soon after that. Here he was now watching his childhood home being sold. The home where all his memories of his mother were.

He could not think about it for long, he just had to move on. It would be easier said than done but Louis had been through pain. He knew he could gather strength from inside himself. He only wished that his father had not chosen a place so far away. The city of Bath thrived on the artificial, where smoke clogged the streets and painted faces obscured the truth. 

He could manage for Lottie’s sake; she still had a chance at making a happy marriage. She was beautiful, young, and carefree. Her dowry was sizable since his father managed to keep away from it. Louis was not foolish. He had seen his father’s money ledgers. He knew exactly how much his father had gambled and dipped into the entailment of the house. He knew the cost of such extravagances was losing his mother’s ancestral home. It hadn’t seemed to matter to his father. He was just exchanging one gambling house for another. Louis could see his days stretched out like a never-ending frayed nerve where his father would sink them deeper until he would leave all the heartache for Louis.

There had been moderation and kinds when Louis’ mother was still alive. Louis knew in the deepest part of his heart that this was why love mattered so much. If he could turn back time just to grasp Harry’s hand again, he would. Louis shook himself. Regret was a luxury he couldn’t afford. He walked down the staircase and along the hallway before stopping at the library. They would even have to sell the books. He felt a pang in his heart at the notion of the shelves being bare. Quickly, he selected a volume of Shakespeare’s poetry, a hardcover edged in gold. He would keep this for himself and tuck it away for the long nights ahead in Bath. Of course, they wouldn’t be going to Bath directly. They were to stay with Louis’ cousins for a few days before moving on to their final destination. Niall and Liam, step brothers, were also of a similar age to Louis. He was looking forward to at least two people he knew and could converse with freely.

Louis crept up to his room not wishing to be disturbed. It was time to pack up the rest of his things. He did not own many beautiful things, a fact that sometimes pricked at his heart. His father never had time to bestow upon him gifts or trinkets. Most of the time it did not hurt him. He would much rather Lottie have everything that she desired than to become bitter over the fact that he didn’t. In fact, his most prized possessions were not jewelry or accessories. A box of Harry’s letters sitting inside his travel chest contained every secret joy and brief happiness. His mother’s faded wrap cradled them gently in the secret space where they hid. Louis missed his mother every day but especially in turbulent times when he just wished for someone to talk to. She had listened to every grievance no matter how big or slight. If anything had deigned to hurt him, she would wrap him in her arms for as long as he wanted. Louis shook himself slightly, it was better to sever a feeling before it swallowed him up whole, better to accept that his life would change forever and that he’d best let it go. His trunks were all packed so he placed the small parcel at the bottom and settled in for a restless night. Tomorrow would come soon enough.

The following day, Louis and his family rose and took breakfast at a slightly earlier hour than normal. Baron Tomlinson, a man of the gentry and alas how could anyone forget that, felt the need for extreme haste from their former home. It seemed to Louis even more that his father had become obsessed with his own genealogy. The fact that they were from a long line of barons gave him the greatest pride.

In fact, he kept the family heritage book ever close to him so that he could read his own history daily. Louis personally thought that his father’s pride had been their undoing and to become so obsessed with one’s history was pure foolishness. He would never say this to his father for he was already a disappointment to him. His father would never say so deliberately but it was in every cutting remark from the slope of Louis’ shoulders to the cut of his clothes.

In every slight comment or turn of the eye, his father let him know that he wasn’t up to his standards. Louis felt this keenly, but he learned that if he could spare Lottie his father’s scorn then it was bearable. Indeed, his sister was his fathers' favorite and he was happy for her to be so. He couldn’t imagine having his father’s attention for so long as to make him happy so he remained quietly by their side, just content enough.

They were now leaving his childhood home and he felt a pang to see it passing out of his view. Lottie was next to him in the carriage and her excitement was palpable. Her dreams of being in the city and in society were finally being realized. It was hard not to be affected by her cheerfulness, her joyful demeanor even if it meant being in a carriage or house with his father. Louis let the scenery fly by and his thoughts calm. They would be at his cousins’ home by the end of the day and from then on his new life would begin.

The Payne household consisted of Louis’ aunt, uncle, and two cousins on his mother’s side. The Payne lineage wasn’t quite as old as the Tomlinsons but there was much to commend them on especially because they did not lord their status about. They owned a large central manor house and rented their surrounding land becoming friendly with their tenants. It was not quite the country seat as Kellynch but it was a sizable home made comfortable by the people inhabiting it. The main building was stone, worn and rustic. Louis’ first glimpse was of sunshine bursting upon gilded window glass, of flowers in neat bunches dotting the front courtyard. 

Lady Payne was the first to greet them, rushing out of the doorway as their carriage came to a halt.

“My dears!” she called out as Louis and Lottie stepped down consecutively from the carriage. Louis was suddenly pressed close to a matronly bosom and squeezed. Once free from the embrace, he was greeted by the smiling face of one Lady Karen Payne. She was of an age closer to fifty years than to forty, but the lines around her eyes and mouth spoke of gratuitous smiling and laughter. Although Louis had met her years before, he was very pleased that she remained as pleasant as memory could recollect. Bounding out of the door next were Liam and Niall Payne, Louis’ cousins and friends. Although they had not been out in society together, the brothers being some three years younger than Louis, Louis had kept close their acquaintance. Liam’s lengthy correspondence in particular had kept Louis’ spirits up at his most desolate. At first glance the Payne siblings did not remotely resemble each other. Liam, the elder, was taller and dark haired. Niall, the younger, was blonde and blue eyed. Their temperaments however were very much the same, pleasant and eager to please. They descended upon the Tomlinson family with warm embraces and smiles.

“Louis, I’m so glad you’ve finally decided to visit! We have some exciting news to share with you!” Niall was the first to rush to speak. Louis couldn’t help but laugh as Niall flailed around like a small puppy.

“I’m sure you have plenty to tell me since I have not heard from you in weeks!” he playfully rebukes looking pointedly at Liam.

“I’m sorry dear friend it’s just that I figured since you would be here soon, we could tell you in person!” Liam at least looked slightly abashed.

“Come along my dears, we’ll have your trunks delivered to your rooms, but for now let’s ring for some tea! You must be parched,” said Lady Payne, ushering them into a small parlor.

Of course, Louis’ father was already turning his nose up at the room as Louis could see from the corner of his eye. The cozy parlor was in no way shabby but there were considerable signs of living and wear. It made Louis feel a slight lessening of anxiety. He did not care for the attitude that appearance was everything. It was a lesson that he had learned too late. As Niall and Liam sprawled across the settees, he and Lottie sat primly in two adjacent chairs. The velvet felt soft underneath his fingers and he let himself relax as he waited for his cousins to speak. An older woman bustled into the room carrying a silver tea service. The cups were laid out delicately in front of them, fine white bone china with floral designs. Louis thanked the older woman, clearly a servant, and accepted his cup of tea.

“Niall please don’t keep us in suspense! We’re dying to hear society news,” Lottie exclaimed, her foot tapping in anticipation. Niall, his blue eyes sparkling with mirth, began his account. “Well, we have recently learned that a tenant is to rent our charter house for a few days. They have come seeking a home for the retirement of the gentleman, an admiral in His Majesty’s Navy. His name is Admiral Styles and he and his wife are anxious to settle. I think they also said their son was going to visit when he finds himself on leave.”

Louis suddenly felt his whole body turn to ice. He foolishly hoped that he had heard incorrectly. Surely Niall hadn’t said Styles.

“Excuse me, but did you say Styles? Desmond Styles?” Louis asked. His anxiety for the answer suddenly spiked. Niall and Liam exchanged a look. They didn’t know all the details of the broken engagement from years ago but they could see how badly the news affected Louis. 

Niall sat straight up on the settee and said, “Well, from what we know Admiral Desmond Styles is of a position to retire from active duty and has been interested in settling in the country. Actually, he has expressed an interest in Kellynch Hall. Your father didn’t tell you?”

His father certainly hadn’t mentioned anything of the sort. He looked sharply towards the man who was hovering about like an unsettled bird. Baron Tomlinson rolled his eyes at his children shocked faces while haughtily saying, “Oh, do not look so aghast! I failed to mention it because of the man’s occupation. I hardly want a navy man presiding over my old home but his reputation is golden. I hadn’t wanted to even look at the offer but I’ve heard that the king himself offered him a medal of honor. The navy is such a boorish way to earn a living if a man has to work, but I suppose even he can spare the expense to buy Kellynch.”

Louis felt ill, felt an unspeakable horror settle over his body. It was not enough that he was losing his childhood home, his favorite place in the world. No, it was to be taken by his ex-fiancé’s father who certainly had grounds to be bitter towards Louis for ruining his child’s happiness. Even worse was the thought that Harry would be close by. It had been nine years since he last seen him. All he could remember was the misery that had been in Harry’s eyes, the anguish of their mingled tears.

Lottie saved him the obligation of answering by asking if they were already in residence.

“Oh yes!” said Lady Payne. “I believe their son, Captain Styles, is also in residence.”

It was another jolt to Louis’ inner calm. He almost felt as if this were happening to someone else. All in one day his world had been shaken and here it was still being rattled. Twin pains of regret and anxiety filled his heart. He didn’t know if he could bear to be in near proximity to Harry let alone be in the same room.

“Oh, I do hope we can meet them!” Lottie exclaimed. She had no idea of the history between Louis and Harry being too young at the time so he could not blame her for her excitement. She had met so few people being that their father was gone for weeks at a time. She had not suffered from this; her good nature was plain to see. He knew that Lady Payne might be thinking of a match between her and one of her sons. Louis hoped for Lottie’s’ sake their father would not be involved. It was better for his sister to know her own mind than to be forced into a marriage she would regret.

“We have been invited to dinner this very evening!” Lady Payne responded. Louis knew that he would have to cry off citing fatigue. He wasn’t prepared in the least for seeing Harry again.

In his wildest dreams he hadn’t the notion of thinking that they would ever be reunited. In the secret part of him, the one he kept as dear as Harry’s letters, he was proud that Harry had ascended to the rank of captain. He knew that he had no right to be but he was. He remembered how Harry had been so thrilled to follow in his father’s footsteps even though at the time they were as poor as church mice. Lengthy wars and battles were the making of their fortune it seemed. Now their fortunes were reversed. Harry’s family on the rise and Louis’ on the decline. It was the opposite of what his father had predicted. This was the beginning age of the self-made man. The aristocracy no longer had a hold on wealth and titles. His father’s obsession with hierarchy and family dynasty could be compared to a drowning man holding on for dear life.

All of this Louis felt as he sat motionless and deep in thought. He was used to being unobserved and faded in the background. Only Liam seemed to think his behavior was off as Lottie was animatedly talking.

He drew Louis aside as they all departed to dress for dinner.

“Are you alright?” he asked kindly.

Louis did not want to burden him with the truth about his past with Harry. He still needed to sort out his own personal feelings from the tumultuous pronouncement that Harry was near.

“I think I’m feeling ill from the long carriage ride, perhaps I shall lay down,” is what he said, needing time alone.

Liam’s perception was keen and telling. He helped Louis to the small bedroom that had been picked out for him reassuring Louis that he would give the family his regrets. The room was cozy and the fireplace burned robustly. He sat down on the small couch gazing down into the flames.

He knew that he could not avoid Harry forever. In fact, he knew that his sister and his cousins would very much enjoy his company. They were young and happy to make new friends. He dreaded having to look into Harry’s eyes again knowing that the last time they were filled with tears. He did not know what he would see in them now. Above all, Louis hoped he would not see bitterness. Could Harry believe that Louis still kept all of his letters, that they were so worn the pages were almost fraying. He had probably not thought of Louis at all. Did he still look the same? He did not own a miniature of Harry but all of his memories were of Harry at twenty and himself at nineteen. Curiosity and dread fought within him for he did not know what to expect. Part of him longed to see Harry again, to see his smile. It was a foolish, wild hope.

Sleep did not come quickly but time was a trickster and the next morning arrived too fast for Louis’ liking. It seemed he had just closed his eyes and opened them to morning light. He must have been sleeping deeply for he saw that his curtains had already been drawn and tea been laid out for him. The steam wafted up towards the ceiling smelling strong and bitter. 

He pushed the covers aside and went about getting ready for the day. The tea was indeed strong and bracing, fortifying him. He knew that there could be no escaping seeing harry in the possible future perhaps even that day. He stood in front of the full-length mirror critically observing his appearance. Tan pantaloons paired with a white blouse overlaid with his green vest. It was a very simple outfit, much like his whole wardrobe. He had nothing very special to wear. His boots were sturdy and mostly used for walking the hills near his home. For as much as his father bragged about their place in society, there had been very few gatherings Louis had been to. They had mostly happened while his mother had still been alive, for she had been gaiety itself. 

In the future, he could see his father spending money on Lottie’s wardrobe. He had no doubt she would attract many suitors once they were introduced into Bath society. The thought was both dismal and heartening for he would love if Lottie were free from their fathers influence but this would mean Louis would be alone.

He regarded his appearance again but more closely. Tired blue eyes reflected back at him. His head turned and he could still see a wisp of the Louis that was. Would Harry still recognize the boy that fell in love with him? Perhaps he had spent too much time indoors. Worry had plagued him since his mother’s death and he feared that it could be read upon his face. He knew that he would never make an advantageous marriage. In fact, he did not think he would get married at all. He knew he was on the smaller side, more delicate than his father would have liked. He would never be the strapping young giant his father had hoped for.

He sighed and shrugged on his long winter coat. The autumn season in England was just beginning, but it was chilly and he got cold easily. He made his way back to the drawing room hoping the others would also be awake. As soon as he opened the door he was bombarded with Liam and Niall talking excitedly.

“Oh, Louis I’m so glad you are awake! We have been tasked with showing Captain Styles around the area! I thought we could show him the old village. If you feel well enough perhaps you will walk with us?” Niall inquired hopefully. There was nothing Louis would like less than being in the company of his once love walking for miles on end. But he could no longer delay the meeting. Once they met, they could get over the awkwardness of first contact. Painful though it might be, perhaps it was for the best.

“I suppose I could walk with you all,” he said with a small smile. Niall whooped and Liam hugged him, infusing him with warmth.

“Let’s have some breakfast then, we cannot be running around the hills famished,” Niall declared. It was something of a running joke that Niall was always hungry but in this he was right. The walk to the old village would take them two hours to arrive and two hours back. 

Louis was busy putting marmalade on his toast when Liam began reciting what had happened the previous night. He was effusive in his praise of the Styles family. Admiral Styles and his wife Anne were all that was affable and proper. The food, and here Niall chimed in, was superb. The creme de la creme of the feast was Harry. Liam was almost glowing to talk about the handsome and wealthy Harry Styles. He was all a true gentleman should be, kind, solicitous, and funny. 

Louis listened with a growing dread in his heart. He knew that he would pale in comparison with this paragon, if comparisons must be made. It seemed Harry had grown and moved on. He was finally where he had always hoped that he would be. His toast lay half eaten on his plate, appetite suddenly lost. He wasn’t used to being with people so often or for so long. His natural disposition was shy and he was inclined to keep his feelings to himself. In times like these were he was distressed, he tended to need more personal space.

It was lucky that Niall and Liam were the opposite and they kept conversations flowing even if Louis never said a word. During the midst of their retelling, Lottie had come to the breakfast table. She, too, had only good things to say about the Styles. She had lost her earring at the dinner table and thought she would die of embarrassment but Harry had helped her look. He had been kind and even inquired after Louis.

“He asked about me?” Louis asked and was proud his voice didn’t tremble.

“Yes,” Lottie answered. “He said he hoped you would make a swift recovery.”

Well, he had not expected anything more. No one except his father knew of the broken engagement. That summer nine years ago seemed like a lifetime apart.

“Oh, I think you shall like him Louis, he’s so charming. I’m sure we will see him courting someone soon. A man like that does not stay single for long,” Niall said, laughing. 

A kind of sorrow fell upon Louis then even though it was exactly what he had been telling himself over the past few days. He knew Harry would want to get married now that he was finally where he wanted to be. One day he would wake up to the news that Harry was married, that his happiness was complete. He did not begrudge him this but the pain lingered.

Their party had decided they were to meet the Styles at ten in the morning, a trifle earlier than the normal hour for going out. The September weather was temperate in the mornings, warmer than in the evening. Louis still felt a bit chilly as he stepped out into the blinding sunshine. He inhaled the cool country air that he would miss so much. England in the fall was his favorite time of year. The sky always looked bluer, the air sweeter, the colors more vivid. 

Standing with his head turned up towards the sky blissfully unaware anyone was looking at him was not how he imagined seeing Harry Styles again. As his eyes opened, he saw someone move in his periphery. His heart rate spiked as if he were jolted. A numbness settled over his bones as Harry came into view. He was almost struck dumb for this other Harry looked so different from his memory. This was a man that had grown taller, more powerful. He moved with purpose and ease. As he came into focus Louis realized that Harry had grown several inches taller, his muscles more pronounced. His dark hair was cut short making his jawline sharper. Gone was the slight softness of his face and the sea had done much to improve his complexion. Long legs were encased in buckskin trousers, his cravat was elegantly tied, and his overcoat was fitted. He looked every inch a naval officer down to his shiny black boots.

Louis caught his breath as Harry’s eyes came to gaze upon him. They were the same green eyes he remembered so well, but what Louis feared had come to pass. His eyes slid past him, indifferent and cold. 

All at once, Niall and Liam came running out of the house and the moment was lost. Louis knew then that Harry was past their attachment, he had moved on. In that cold stare Louis had seen that he was nothing to him. The future had been decided and Louis was no longer part of it.

“Harry, we are so excited to show you the village!” Niall said, unaware of the tension. What Louis saw next astonished him. Harry quickly turned from coolness to warmth. His eyes crinkled as he smiled. Those green eyes danced with mirth once again.

“I am very glad you are to be showing it to me, dear Niall,” he replied, and linked their arms together.

“Oh dear! We country bumpkins must show the city lad what he is missing then,” Niall said with a wink.

It was not as if Louis were envious, he felt he had no right to be. However, if he had to witness Harry flirting that was another deep kind of pain. He had expected it and yet it still rankled. 

The day was perfect for walking, the weather had never been more temperate. Niall, Harry, and Liam took the lead as Lottie and Louis walked behind them. There was no more exquisite torture than to see Harry seemingly smitten with another person. It could be that Louis was jumping to conclusions but as they walked he could see Harry giving Niall every consideration. When they walked across a small bridge, Harry guided him over. As they came to a small crevice in the ground, Niall jumped into Harry's arms jokingly. 

“Are you sure you’re quite alright?” Lottie asked him, concern in her voice. 

Louis had never felt worse but he could not confide in his sister. He knew she would be understanding but he did not want to ruin her good opinion of Harry. He murmured that he was only tired and she was forced to drop the subject. At least he could enjoy the countryside. The images and memories would have to sustain him throughout his stay in Bath for he did not know how long they would reside there. Two hours had passed and they were finally nearing the village. It was a village much like any other but one of the closest to Kellynch Hall. Louis had been there many times. He had been known to help at the church and the school. It made him feel very wistful as many villagers called out to wish him well.

A little girl came running up to him waving and smiling. He laughed and bent to pick her up. Her name was Sarah and two months ago he had helped her find her parents when she was lost in the market.

“And where are you running to young miss?” he asked, brushing her hair from her face. She giggled and held on to his neck tighter. He looked up swearing that he had felt someone staring at him but it was only Harry looking at him, a strange expression on his face. Suddenly, Louis felt shy and he placed the child back on the ground. 

He spied Sarah’s mother hovering uncertainly nearby. Grabbing the girl’s hand, he moved towards her mother smiling. She was effusive in her apologies that her daughter had been bothering him but he assured her it was no trouble. He had always enjoyed working with and entertaining children. He had secret hopes that one day he would be a parent but he knows it is not to be. The only person he had ever wanted children with now despised him.

He was pulled out of his musings by Niall who wanted to walk down to the river. Their group pace was moderate but all the same he felt himself lagging a little behind. Liam and Lottie were in front with Louis trailing Harry and Niall. He listened to their conversation quietly while trudging towards the river which now felt a million miles away. He should have listened to his cousin and enjoyed a heartier breakfast.

“It is good that your parents are so devoted to each other,” he could hear Niall saying. The river gleamed next to them in the autumn sunshine, the light winking off of it like stars.

“Indeed, my mother would not think it possible to leave my father even when he is at sea,” Harry replied.

Niall’s face from a few feet away looked joyful. “That is just how it should be. I think when I fall in love I will be just as devoted if not more.” 

“Then I honor you for such steadfastness” 

Louis could not help but feel this was a slight directed towards him even though Harry couldn’t possibly know he was eavesdropping.

“I hear that your brother is lately to be married,” Harry said. Louis head, which had been steadfastly gazing towards the ground, whipped up. Liam hadn’t mentioned an engagement at all. 

“Oh yes my brother has been lately engaged and we hope a wedding will come early spring,” Niall answered. “His fiancé is lately come into his inheritance; they had been secretly seeing each other for years! Even when Charles was barred from communicating with him.” 

Louis felt his heart stop, that Liam’s’ situation had so mirrored his own. He felt his heart hurt for his friend and that he felt he couldn’t confide in Louis. Did Liam not find him trustworthy? He quickened his pace slightly to hear more. 

“I did not know my brother to have such strong feelings and patience. For myself, I would have felt unable to keep the secret of such a love,” Niall said.

“Indeed, that is just how it should be,” was all Harry replied. Niall was naturally a talkative person and he continued, “My brother confided in me that Lord Winston had strongly urged against the marriage. Are you aware of Lord Winston? He is Louis’ particular friend.”

“I am aware of him,” Harry said rather tersely. Louis felt that this day could only get worse. He knew that Harry had no love for Lord Winston. In fact, it was Lord Winston who had finally persuaded Louis to give his engagement up. He had long been a family friend and ally to the Tomlinson family. Although Louis knew better now, the importance of having his own opinion, he had relied on Ben’s expertise and experience on worldly matters. 

“He and your cousin are still on good terms?” Harry asked. The fact that he would not say Louis’ name was telling. Louis felt like sinking into the ground. “Oh yes I think so. Lord Winston comes to stay once every two or three fortnights”

“I envy your brother’s fiancé. He has found a good man and a reliable one. For one to be not so easily persuaded by others judgement is a diamond in the rough. I would not expect anything less for someone that I were to marry.”

Harry moved his head towards the river, his sharp jaw outlined by the water, the golden sunlight. Louis could not help but be drawn towards him but everything within him resisted the urge. Harry had become cold towards him, he knew. That bitterness had soured his good opinion forever. Louis could not begrudge him this. He wondered if he would be kind if their situations were reversed.

“Then I do hope your plan to visit often Captain Styles. There are plenty more gentlemen like my brother that live in these small towns. Men that are honest and true,” Niall said.

“That seems very true in fact one of them is right beside me,” Harry replied.

Louis turned his face away coming to a stop. Suddenly he felt that moving to Bath could not come faster. He doubted he could stand to see Harry exchanging banter with his cousin for more than a few days. He did not blame Niall for he was a happy go lucky person. He bore no ill will towards anyone. Neither did he blame Harry. He could only think what a cruel twist of fate it was. He had destroyed Harry’s happiness once and perhaps this was his punishment, to see it for himself when Harry found love with another.

In the distance he could see an open carriage barreling down towards them on the country road. He squinted and saw that that it was Admiral Styles and his wife. They must have been sight-seeing by carriage as their party had been walking. Harry hailed them and they came to a rolling stop.

“Hello my dears!” Anne called out. Her smile was warm and friendly. 

“My goodness you all look worn out!” Admiral Styles said jovially. “Would one of you like a ride back?”

Niall and Liam declined while Lottie demurred saying she would like to see more of the countryside. Louis was ready to accept that he would be walking a few more hours without sustenance when two large hands encompassed his waist. He startled and his head flew up. Without warning Harry had lifted him up towards the carriage. The warmth of his hands seared into Louis’ body. Harry’s jaw brushed against Louis’ cheek. He glimpsed the sharp line of Harry’s profile as he was set down.

As suddenly as it arrived, the warmth was gone and the carriage was moving again.

Louis risked a glimpse behind him but Harry’s face was already turned away. Why had he touched Louis of his own volition? Had he felt sorry for him? Louis did not want to be an object of pity. He was resigned to his fate of being someone that Harry cared little for.

Harry’s parents were a comfortable seeming couple not given to airs and graces. Desmond Styles was a renown sailor and Anne was very much the same. She had been deemed remarkable for she sailed alongside her husband despite the danger. He could very much see her in Harry’s looks. His father on the other hand was more robust and portly, but very good natured. He realized that Anne was still speaking to him.

“Your sister looks very well; she must be so excited to move to the city.”

“Oh yes she is quite excited,” he smiled wryly.

“I take it you don’t feel quite the same?” she asked

Louis hesitated wondering if he should gloss over his internal feelings. “I will very much miss Doncaster; it is where I remember my mother the best.”

Anne reached out and grabbed Louis’ hand almost startling him. “My dear I wish for you to know that if we should choose Kellynch Hall we will not alter one stone of it.” 

Louis eyes glimmered for a moment, overwhelmed. She continued on saying, “I very much hope to be settled in this county soon. I think my son has found some veritable prospects here as well.” 

Louis’ forehead creased. Did she mean marriage? 

Admiral Styles broke in saying, “We did not know you and Harry knew each other. He mentioned that you knew each other slightly last night.”

Louis didn’t know whether he wanted to laugh or cry although he could do neither.

“Yes,” he answered. “Nine years ago, we met while he was staying in the country.”

“Ah that explains his other comment. He said that when he saw you arrive at the Paynes, he barely recognized you, you were so changed!” Anne said. 

He knew she meant no offense and didn’t understand the slight which Harry had delivered so carelessly but Louis felt it like a knife. He didn’t even realize Harry had witnessed their arrival. Had he been walking and come upon the scene? Was Louis so changed for the worse that he barely recognized him? The feelings and thoughts floated through his mind racing fast paced and relentless.

Admiral Styles chortled, “Ah my dear, perhaps we shall make a country boy out of our son yet. He seems very pleased to make the young Payne’s acquaintance. What do you think Louis? That would be a very fine thing for your cousin.” 

What could Louis reply? His misery was acute with every word said. He managed to smile and mumble something politely. He let their conversation float around him, his mind numbed. 

The carriage jolted and swayed as they made their way back to The Payne’s household. At this moment in time he would have liked nothing more than to leave immediately and head towards Bath. Not even his friendship with his cousins would induce him to stay. He doubted his father would be longing to stay more than was necessary, in this Louis could persuade him. 

He took in the magnificence of autumn as they neared their destination. He would keep it in a treasured place in his heart and when things got too awful in Bath, when he could no longer stand to think of the city he would bring those memories out. He would recall the soft, hazy light as it shone down through the trees, the colors blurring in a colorful tapestry. As Harry had picked him up Louis had smelled tobacco and bergamot, heady and strong. He would remember Harry’s outline against the autumn splendor, his soft stubble brushing his cheek.

Even now when he felt lost inside himself, he felt a kernel of pride. Harry had become who he had set out to be. If he did choose someone close to Louis to wed, he would choose to be happy for them. Experience had taught him there was no use in being bitter.

They finally arrived back at the main house and Louis was ready to retire to his room. The others would not be back for hours and he just wanted to sleep for a while. The Styles bid him farewell until dinner as they informed him their party would be joining them that evening. Louis was all politeness and felicity but inside he knew it would be another lesson in patience and serenity. Perhaps it would not be so bad. He must learn to live with meeting Harry in civil situations. Louis retired to his room to fall into a slumber that had eluded him the night before.

He woke hours later a little disoriented. He blinked at the curtains that were moving slightly with the outside breeze. The sun was just going down meaning the evening meal was fast approaching. He got ready with care, exchanging his dusty trousers and shirt for a fresher pair. He hesitated looking at his meager closet for everything else had been packed and sent off to Bath. His remaining vest was a blue silk that Harry had favored. 

Before he realized what he’d done, he had put it on. The soft blue complimented his rosy cheeks from the exertion of the day. He smiled at the mirror but it held no secrets. He looked like himself, simple and careworn. He sighed and smoothed down his hair.

Walking out of his room, he made his way towards the main drawing room. The whole party had already assembled including the Styles. He paused by the doorway unsure of how to enter. He hated being stared at. 

Unfortunately, Niall had already spotted him. “Louis! I hope you are quite refreshed! Can you play the piano for us so that we can dance!”

Lady Payne came towards her son with a scold. “Niall, give the poor boy some space and time to settle himself.”

Louis huffed out a small laugh as Niall gazed at him with pleading eyes. “Of course, I’ll play so that you can dance,” he said and his cousin yelled out triumphantly. 

The room was large and comfortable enough for two couples to dance at once. Louis sat at the small pianoforte and he had the strange sensation of being watched again. His forehead pricked and he glanced up but no one was looking at him. He shook his head and started to play a jaunty tune. 

Harry and Niall and Liam and Lottie were dancing, all of them smiling and laughing with each other. Louis smiled as he saw how happy and radiant his sister looked. He couldn’t but help to notice how well Harry danced. He moved smooth as silk and even lifted Niall in the air much to his partners delight. He couldn’t deny how well they looked together, both smiling and delighted with one another. His own feelings turned bittersweet but he played on. He forgot how much he had missed playing the piano.

Since it was dark, candles were lit throughout the room casting everyone’s faces in shadow and soft light. 

He lost track of how long he played and how long the rest of them danced. There was one moment where Liam asked him to join them. Lottie had answered for him saying that he rarely danced. It was true. He barely had time to learn with being busy with running the household and his father never hosted events. He knew simple dances and hoped he would not have to embarrass himself in front of everyone by trying.

“I’m happy to play for you all,” was all that he said. The party continued to dance until the Paynes' head servant came to announce that dinner would be served promptly. 

Lottie walked over as he was shutting the pianoforte, lovingly caressing the keys. They would not have room in their new apartment for a piano and Louis did not know when he would have the pleasure to play again.

“I hope you did not tire yourself out,” Lottie said as he took her arm. 

He laughed and said, “My dear, I’m not an invalid. You know how much I enjoy playing.” She looked at him skeptically but held her peace. 

They filed into the formal dining room in pairs. Lottie and Louis were the last to enter and he found himself seated across from Harry. He wished every time he looked upon Harry’s countenance that his heart did not beat faster. He did not know if he would ever find it commonplace but he cursed his heart for beating as if he were running.

The table was lavish and filled with the finest food. Roasted duck with crispy potatoes, creamy leek soup, braised apples, it all made Louis’ mouth water but they waited until the hosts were served first. Louis ate with relish despite the fact he was self-conscious of Harry sitting across from him. His worry was seemingly in vain for Harry’s eyes fell on everyone but him. 

The conversation around him began with the usual pleasantries about various people they knew. Admiral Styles had a one-track mind though and the conversation came back around to marriage. He sat at the head of the table and jauntily teased his son.

“As my wife and I have just begun to settle down, I hope to see my firstborn son in the same way soon,” he said and had the audacity to wink at Niall who was seated beside Harry. Whether Niall knew this was teasing because or not, it was not for Louis to decipher. He had assumed that Niall’s flirtation was harmless but he could not be sure. Admiral Styles preoccupation to have Harry settled wasn’t out of the ordinary. Harry was his only child and heir. 

Louis glanced at Harry to see how he was handling the abrupt change of topic. It must be one that had been brought up multiple times for he could see the tic in Harry’s jaw and the tightening of his grip on his glass.

“Father, you know that I am as you say ready to settle down but I shall do it at my own pace. If I am to marry someone I would like for that person to be-"

At this point Niall cut his sentence off with a smile saying, “Steadfast.”

Harry did not mind the intrusion for he smiled charmingly. “Yes, steadfast. Someone with a strong mind and sweetness of temper. Someone who would not be so easily persuaded for anything.”

This Louis knew for certain, as his stomach felt turned to lead, was aimed towards him. He dared not even look at Harry for his eyes had taken a glassy sheen he knew. 

Harry was laughing and continued, “A few pretty smiles and a compliment to His Majesties Navy and I will be a lost man.”

Liam, at Harry’s other side, exclaimed, “It sounds as if you are ready to find yourself in love!” Louis did not want to look, did not want to see Harry’s gaze in a particular direction. 

“I believe I am,” he said. 

Dinner was by then an event meant to torture Louis’ peace of mind. He did not mind if the conversation was about marriage but he was acutely aware that he was the only one in the room that would perhaps never wed. The subject was delicate but it seemed as if everyone took it for granted that Louis was a spinster. It was not meant in harm but was taken as fact. Even though he knew this, Louis still felt a bit shattered. The glow of the candles cast Harry in an almost angelic light. Anyone who looked at Harry and Niall next to each other would consider them a very handsome couple.

Louis looked at his sister as she said, “I think that everyone should be able to find their true love.” 

He smiled at her sheer optimism. He hoped she was right at least for herself. His father had taken pains that she should want for nothing but he doubted Lottie knew the real reason why they had to give up their childhood home. His father’s extravagance was something he could not stop and he feared that once in the city he would feel the need to dip into Lottie’s dowry. His idea of love was jaded. He only hoped that Lottie would find an honorable man who wasn’t worried about how wealthy she was. For now, she was considered an heiress and he hoped it would remain that way.

Louis father had left before dinner with a vague statement about setting up the house in Bath. Louis knew that was a code for “I’m going to visit the gaming houses.” It seemed as if everything was against his own wishes. 

His cousins had the idea of joining them in Bath, but first they were wild to visit Lyme, a small British seaport. Harry had a friend that was gravely injured recuperating there.

“It would mean a lot to him as he has been so cast down of late for us all to visit. Perhaps we can cheer him up,” Harry had said. Privately, Louis wondered if the influx of new people would only serve to make his friend anxious but he kept quiet. Harry was if anything a devoted friend and solider in arms.

Their party now numbered five as Niall and Liam joined the Tomlinsons. 

They set out the next morning and Harry would travel on horseback beside the carriage which was discomfiting for Louis. It seemed every time he looked out the window, Harry was in view. It was not a long journey and Louis had plenty to ponder as they traveled. He was slowly getting used to the idea that he would be starting a new era of his life. If only the thought of Harry did not rest in the back of his mind.

It was colder in Lyme when they arrived, settling into the first days of October. The wind whipped their clothes as the descended from the carriage and into the seaside inn. Louis had never been to the seaside much as a child but he felt faintly nostalgic as he peered outside into the gloom. The old stone walkway that was called “The Cobb” led into the sea a lonely beacon in the mist. He hoped they would be able to walk there in the morning if the weather broke. Harry had already left in a hurry towards where Louis assumed his friend would be staying.

Louis was sharing a room with Niall and it was already slightly claustrophobic. His luggage was brought in by the porter and left on a small chaise lounge. The window opened towards the front of the inn where he could see travelers walking to and fro amidst the rain. Niall rang for tea as they huddled by their small fireplace. 

“What do you think of Captain Styles?” Niall asked Louis, startling him into looking up from the flames. “I've hardly seen you speak two words to him.”

Louis grimaced slightly and hoped his cousin hadn’t noticed. “He seems very courteous.”  
Even to Louis this sounded cold and he corrected himself saying, “He is very attentive towards you and your brother.”

Niall seemed pensive and frowned. “Oh, he is to be sure but I’ve often wondered if his heart belongs to another.”

“You have cause to think he might be betrothed to someone already?” Louis couldn’t possibly know if Harry was involved with someone else but he had not even considered the possibility.  
“I’m not quite sure,” Niall replied. “Sometimes it seems as if he’s thinking of someone else as he’s talking with me.”

“I’m sure Harry thinks very highly of you. Perhaps you both need more time to get to know one another.”

“I’ve always imagined that when I fall in love it would be very quickly and I would know from the start. I’m not quite sure what I feel towards Captain Styles, but I am not sure if it is love.”

Louis turned his gaze back towards the fire as Niall went on. 

“I hope you don’t think I am flighty; I know that I act silly sometimes but in this I am quite unsure of myself.”

Louis grasped Niall’s hand in his. “I think that whoever wins your heart will be worthy of it, dearest cousin.”

“And you too Louis, if you ever find yourself in love, that person would be the luckiest in existence.”

It could have been just been the fire but if both of their eyes were covered in a slight teary sheen, no one else but the servant that brought their tea would be the wiser.

The night passed and thankfully the rain had turned into a slight drizzle. They made plans to walk down towards the shore and then to visit Harry’s friend for a light tea. As they left their lodging Louis stopped to take in a breath of air. The wind was bracing but Louis felt strangely light. After his conversation with Niall the night before he felt at peace. Whatever was to come he knew that he could bear it. 

Lyme was famous for its old stone walk where on a calm day the sea glittered like a thousand diamonds. It had no barriers and jutted out into the sea. The appeal was broadened by the spacious view of the sea in every direction. Since it was early and misting, they were some of the few people out and about. Their whole party had been walking separately until they had reached the stairs leading up towards the Cobb. A man had begun descending as they were beginning to climb upwards. 

Louis felt a peculiar prickling in his forehead causing him to look up straight into the stranger's eyes. He was giving Louis an intense stare. Louis was sure he had never seen this man in his life. He was of a fair height, surely a head taller than Louis himself. He was dressed in no particular style only that of a gentleman could be assumed. He doffed his hat at them and stood aside so they could begin to walk up.

Dark haired and dark eyed, he was extremely handsome. Louis could almost see the wheels in Lottie’s head turning as the stranger smiled at her.

The stranger awaited them each in turn and as Louis was the last to step up, he guided Louis over the slick cobblestone stair. There was pressure on Louis’ hand and to his amazement the stranger kissed his hand. He heard Niall softly gasp in the background as this was considered a bit shocking. Louis himself stood almost gaping, his cheeks mortifyingly red.

“Thank you,” he stuttered out to the taller man.

“At your service,” the stranger said and then winked. He squeezed Louis hand slightly and then with a whirl of his cloak descended the deep stairs. 

Louis was left open mouthed as it seemed was their whole party. Lottie was the first to speak as she walked towards him, looping her arm through his. “Did you know that man?” she asked him. 

In his periphery, Louis could see that even Harry was creeping closer towards their conversation. “I’ve never seen that man in my life,” he replied.

“I think perhaps he looked a bit familiar to me.” Liam said. “I’ll have to ask mother when we meet with her at Bath.”

“Well for a stranger he certainly seemed to take a fancy towards you,” Niall teased. 

Louis rolled his eyes and then witnessed a curious thing. He was sure Harry had been listening to their conversation when he suddenly surged past them walking at a fast pace. “I wonder what’s wrong with him,” Liam pondered. 

By now they were all sodden to the bone as it had begun to rain again. Their walk was pleasant even as their overcoats and boots became waterlogged. Louis decided that perhaps though Kellynch Hall would always be first in his heart, the sea was taking second place. He didn’t even mind the fine mist that was hanging over everything. 

His mind took him back to the Cobb as he looked back into the distant horizon. He wondered what it might be like on the high seas not as a solider but as a voyager. He had never had such thoughts before but he had never been this far from home. Perhaps life had thrown him asunder but he would learn to bend in the wind and not break. It was with these uplifting thoughts that he meandered with the rest of his group back to the inn where they would fetch their carriage.

It was nearing half past eleven as they arrived at the cottage outside the city where Harry’s friend was convalescing. On the journey over Harry had told them of his friend's misfortune. His leg had been badly injured in battle; he had been sent home to recover only to find his fiancé in the arms of another.

“His hopes have been laid low,” Harry had said. “Zayn feels as if the whole world has turned against him.”

It certainly felt dreary enough as they entered the cottage. The air was stale and the windows shuttered. The entryway was dim and dark. Silence clung to every shadow as they moved in search of life.

The small living room was where they found who was presumably Harry’s friend, with his leg propped up on a cushion feeding a rather portly dog. He seemed to have no reaction to four strangers appearing and only sighed dejectedly. Zayn Malik was probably one of the most beautiful men Louis had ever seen. He heard Niall’s quick intake of breath and with one glance deduced that his cheeks were red. Anyone would be hard pressed to disagree over Zayn’s charms but there was an air of sadness surrounding him. 

“Well, Malik, here I am as I said I would come,” Harry said. Zayn lifted his head to stare at Harry.

“Yes, I remember you had sent a letter but it’s a fool’s errand you’ve come on, Styles. I’m perfectly fine here alone,” Zayn replied.

Harry's brow arched. “Really? And when is the last time you’ve had a meal? I know only one person checks on you in the morning. In fact, I think you’re subsisting on air alone.”

“You know I already have enough on my mind without you pestering me,” Zayn replied in an aggrieved tone. 

Niall, never one for being quiet too long, jumped into the conversation. “Mr. Malik, please let us not quarrel. We have come to visit you and perhaps you would let me make you a drink? Hot buttered rum would do us all a trick. And perhaps some biscuits and tea.” Niall stepped towards the settee where the injured man lay. 

The firelight seemed to glow around Zayn as he took Niall in. His face softened. “I think perhaps that would be lovely.”

Louis let out a small breath of relief. Niall had a way about him that would make people with the hardest of hearts weaken. The rest of their party settled into the living room. Liam and Harry took chairs closest to Zayn while Louis sat on a couch nearer to the exit.

“Shall I introduce everyone?” Harry asked Zayn who nodded in affirmation. “Well, Niall you just met and this is his brother Liam,” who Harry had inclined his head towards. “And there is Louis.” 

Louis almost startled at him saying his name for the first time in nine years. From where he was seated he could see Zayn’s posture suddenly becoming alert. “Louis….Tomlinson?” Zayn asked.

Harry's features were hooded from the shadow of the fire but he jerked his head in affirmation. He suddenly found a pair of hazel eyes fixed upon his features. Louis suddenly felt as if he should say something, it was clear Zayn knew something of his and Harry's past relationship.

“Hello, it’s very nice to meet you,” was what Louis settled on.

Zayn gave him an appraising look and looked about to say something when Harry quietly said, “How are you doing really?”

His friend’s eyes shifted from Louis downwards towards the dog that was now sleeping on Zayn’s chest. “I do not really know what to say to you. I feel like half of my heart was torn out and I do not much like this new world where I find myself hurt and alone. I would rather be honest with you than have you constantly hound me for my feelings,” Zayn answered. 

Harry looked aggrieved. Before he could answer Niall came back with a tea tray and they moved into the small informal dining room. Harry and Niall helped Zayn sit up and he hobbled over to the table.

The dining area was small but with a few candles it was very cozy and Louis found himself sitting next to Zayn after the tea and biscuits had been eaten. 

Louis took a deep breath and decided that he would try and talk to him. He had seemed so resistant to Harry but perhaps talking with a stranger would be more freeing. He touched him softly on the shoulder and was soon rewarded with the sorrowful eyes turned upon him. 

“I know that things may seem very tough right now but I believe from what I have heard of you that you will rise about this indignity and perhaps with time you will be able to heal,” Louis remarked softly. 

“I do not think time will be able to heal my wounds at all,” was the stoic reply. Louis felt apprehensive but soldiered on. 

“Time they say is a great healer. Perhaps you will never be the same as you believe but happiness can come from the smallest of things.”

“Do you think that a heart is so easily mended? That if you have loved someone so much you can get over it so quickly?” Zayn was looking at him with such intensity but it did not deter him. 

“I think that love, real and true love, will never be forgotten.” Louis hesitated and then decided to elaborate, hoping he could trust Zayn with his secret. “I know from personal experience how badly heartbreak can affect someone. I do not expect to ever get over the great loss that I alone inflicted on myself. It does not mean that your fate should be the same.”

Zayn’s eyes flickered towards Harry who was laughing next to Liam as Niall was telling a story.

Louis said in a small voice, “If I could go back in time, I would never choose to give up the love I had. I’ve realized this after much reflection but the heartache shaped who I am today. And now I only want for Harry to be happy,” he finished softly. 

“You would give him up so easily?” Zayn asked. 

Louis looked down at his hands. “My poor judgement lost him years ago. He has moved on.” 

“He wrote of you to me,” Zayn said. “That’s how I knew who you were before you even spoke your name. He spoke of an ethereal beauty unsurpassed.” 

“That must have been some time ago,” Louis said. 

“It was nine years ago but the statement remains true,” Zayn acquiesced and it could have been Louis’ imagination but his eyes were fixed upon Niall’s laughing face. 

Zayn looked at him again. “I know that you have hurt Harry in the past, but what I see in your face at this moment is regret. You have been kind to offer me consolation when you need not. I think perhaps you should not write yourself off so quickly.” Louis was perplexed by this and almost responded but he was interrupted by Niall asking if they would join in their conversation. 

The hours passed and the rain outside drizzled. Louis was sat by the fire in a warm golden haze when he spotted Niall and Zayn huddled close together. He had a curious nature, one of his faults as a boy or so his father said. He was wondering if perhaps Niall’s attachment to Harry was not quite as strong as he had supposed. 

He inclined his head to look for said person and his breath stopped as Harry was staring right at him. He was propped up in the doorway by his shoulder, his arm flexed. Louis wondered why he was staring at him instead of Niall, wondering what was going through Harry’s mind at that moment. Louis averted his eyes, his natural reaction now that they had met again. He didn’t know why the attention made him feel strange, he knew that he was nothing to Harry. Still the intensity of his look shook him. 

“I think we out to take our leave now,” said Liam coming in from the kitchen. “It’s getting dark, but perhaps we can visit you tomorrow as well. You are quite close to where we are staying.” 

Zayn’s eyes were fixed on Niall. “I think I would enjoy that very much.”

Louis prided himself on being observant and he did not fail to notice how close Niall and Zayn had moved together nor the heated looks of interest passed at one another. Liam looked amused, almost delighted and as Louis looked towards Harry, he could see a similar expression although more pensive. He wished he could interpret that look more than anything but even nine years ago Harry kept his feelings close to his chest. 

Their ride back to the town was short and the rain had now begun to pour in earnest. Louis fought a wave of homesickness for his childhood home’s hearth and familiar smell of oak and cinnamon. He did not really want to contemplate that he would never again sit in front of the fire with his mother’s portrait above him. Instead, he turned his attention to Niall who was strangely pensive and fiddling with his hands. 

He smiled inwardly. Perhaps Zayn had more of an effect than Harry had anticipated. Which brought him to the subject of his last thought. He had somehow imagined that the attention lavished on Niall by Zayn would have made Harry envious. That he would have showed some sort of possessiveness at least made his intentions clear but he hadn’t. 

When Louis and Harry had first begun their love affair, Harry was always close to him when other men would show interest. A hand on his waist, discreetly of course, tender kisses in an alcove. His face still warmed when he thought of their only night together when he had smuggled Harry into his room. Polite society would scorn and judge as if they were immune but it had been one of the best moments of his life. He had no care for his reputation. There was no shame in anything that had happened between them, only the deepest love. 

He remembered the fierce trembling of his body when Harry took him. His heart had burned with desire of how Harry had been tender, how he had been so intent. Afterwards the scent of bergamot and musk lay heavy on his skin. It was the same scent he could smell when Harry left the room now, lingering in his senses. The way that his lover had held him tightly, the way Harry had smiled at him with no reserve. 

Louis remembered how possessively Harry had held him when no one was watching at their next meeting. At those moments in time when they had to pretend they were no more than acquaintances. For a while, he had liked to tease him just to see what Harry would do.

Louis had been so young when he was first introduced into society, so eager to please. There had been more than one young man interested in him but he only had eyes for one man. Harry, who had kept him safe, had made him feel like he was precious. Despite their two worlds being far apart, Louis had felt like an equal. In those days, his father had pushed and pushed him to find an attachment to someone with wealth. He had defied his father but only after he had been deemed worthless by him. He was musing all this internally and wondering if Harry had an attachment towards Niall. Why did he not show it? It might ease Niall’s mind towards his feelings. But alas he only knew of what was in his own heart.

The next day’s weather proved to be acceptable to walk down towards the Cobb. It was dreary but free of rain and Louis felt only a slight chill. Niall was in high spirits, laughing and jumping from the stairs. Only the day before he had jumped from the highest point for Harry who was the strongest of them all to catch him.

“Niall please have a care, the steps are still slippery,” Louis called to him but he was paying him no mind.

“Harry catch me!” Niall yelled and jumped. But it was too far and he was an arm’s length away from Harry as he fell. 

Liam screamed and Louis who was behind them all came running up behind him. Niall lay in an unconscious heap, a trickle of blood forming around his temple. Harry looked on dazed. “I-I was not ready; he was too far away.” Liam too, was staring in horror.

“Louis, what shall we do?” Liam asked, hands clutching at Niall as if he could bring him back to consciousness by will alone. Louis found himself under the intense gazes of both men.

“Call a surgeon!” Louis exclaimed as he drew a handkerchief to press to the wound. For the first time he addressed Harry as the latter was standing as if rooted to the ground. “Harry, go call a surgeon. Liam, go get the carriage. We shall take him to Zayn’s cottage as it is closer and I’m not sure the extent of the damage. GO!” he yelled.

Immediately as if waking from a spell Harry and Liam burst into action. Louis could feel tears pressing up against his eyelids as he held the ashen faced Niall towards him. He would not think of the possibility of death. Niall was young, he had the purest heart. The world could not be so cruel although he knew that it could. He tried to wipe the blood and keep pressure on the wound as he waited. A scant five minutes later and Harry was returning at a breakneck speed with a man who was hurriedly fixing his doctors cap, a large case in his hand. 

“Stand aside my lad,” the man said and he was peering at Niall's head wound and clucking. “The sooner you get his head elevated and his body resting, the better he will be.”

“Will he be alright?” this from Harry who was watching the proceedings with his intense gaze although it was tempered with fear. 

“I cannot tell you,” the doctor said. “I will check on him wherever he will be. It all depends on if he regains consciousness or not. But these first few hours will prove if he survives or not.”

Louis’ face went white. He was glad Liam was not there with them for this news. Everything within him balked at the idea of his cousin not surviving. Even now as he held him in his arms, he could not face the prospect. The carriage was approaching the end of the lane and between Louis, the doctor, and Harry they managed to carry Niall. 

Liam’s face was grave and tears coursed silently down his face. The carriage ride was fraught with tension. Harry sat rigidly next to Liam. Louis held Niall opposite them, having a care to make sure he wasn’t jostled by the road.

They reached Zayn’s cottage at a borderline frantic speed. As soon as the carriage rolled to a stop Liam was jumping out of the vehicle. The carriage driver and Harry lifted Niall up from Louis’ lap and slowly shuffled him inside. Zayn was hobbling towards them, extreme anxiety showing on his face.

“Here place him on the settee by the fire,” he said and they complied. Niall looked like a wax figure laid out like an effigy. He looked over at Harry who looked a picture of misery.

“We need to contact his family right away,” Harry said. “I’ll go with you,” Louis responded and couldn’t quite believe himself. 

“I have to go to my parents,” Liam murmured. “I have to bring them here.” 

It was decided that Harry, Niall, and Liam would travel back to the Payne’s’ where Louis and Lottie would then travel to Bath to meet their father. Harry would no longer be on leave and would return to his ship. Louis had no idea when he would see Harry again if he ever did. Bath was a big city and he scarcely knew where his former fiancé would spend his leisure time. 

They left Niall in the tender care of Zayn and his servant. They collected their belongings from the inn and Louis spied the same man he had seen on their walk the previous day. He tipped his hat towards Louis while he was waiting for the carriage. The man was still standing there as they left, a shrinking figure in the background.

Once again, Harry was seated across from him. He was brooding, a look Louis knew stemmed from guilt. They had quite the journey to make and the turn of the wheels soon lured Lottie and Liam to sleep. Louis waited until he was sure they were asleep. Moonlight now drifted across Harry’s face as he peered out the window. 

“You know it was not your fault,” Louis voice broke the silence. Harry tensed, almost startled by the clear whisper. 

“He would have jumped no matter what.” Louis wasn’t quite sure why he felt the need to reassure Harry as if his words meant anything to him.

Harry turned to him and once again he felt the weight of his stare. “It was my responsibility to look after everyone.”

Louis wanted to touch his hand but he dared not. He did not know what he could say to make the other man believe him. The urge to cradle his face in his palm, to have Harry hold him rose in a wave within him. It was folly and it was unimaginable but that was what Louis’ heart yearned for. 

“Niall would not hold you responsible as none of us do." He did not know if those words would reach him but he prayed they would. The carriage lapsed into silence except for the sound of the horses’ hooves hitting the pavement. 

Louis must have fell asleep because it seemed like only an instant that he was being roused from slumber as they arrived at the Payne’s’ residence. Liam was opening the carriage door and sprinting out as the rest of them followed. Lottie looked nervous and Harry looked resigned. Before Louis even reached the entrance, he could see candles being lit within the house. He heard muffled crying as he moved closer. He was stopped at the door by Liam who was wiping his face with a handkerchief.

“Mother wants to leave right away and father has agreed. You and Lottie can stay here overnight and then travel to Bath.”

Louis grabbed him by the shoulders and held him. “Please keep us informed about his welfare. I will not be able to stop worrying until I know.”

“I will, Lou,” he responded and then disappeared back inside the house. 

Lottie gave him a sad smile and squeezed his arm. There was a brief silence and then Louis remembered Harry standing in the courtyard. He watched Lottie pass from his sight as he walked back towards Harry.

“Will you come inside?” Louis asked and felt confident enough to move closer. Harry looked at him appraisingly almost as if he was seeing Louis for the first time. Louis tried not to imagine how disheveled he must look after sleeping in the carriage or with the dust clinging to his clothes.

“No, I must go back to Lyme and catch my ship there.”

Louis felt his confidence falter. He may never have the chance to see Harry again, Bath had never been his favorite city. Words of regret, of sadness weighed heavily on his tongue. He wished he had the courage to tell Harry how sorry he was, how much he regretted what had happened nine years ago but he could not. He moved closer towards harry, two steps and he could touch his arm. He could see Harry’s silver cross necklace gleaming in the moonlight. 

“Have a safe journey,” he said leaving everything unspoken within him crying out to be heard. 

“Thank you….Louis.” For one small moment he thought Harry was going to embrace him but then he was turning away walking towards the stable. 

As Louis walked up the stairs towards his room, he peered out the window just in time to see a dark figure on a horse galloping away.

For all that it had been less than a week since he had seen Harry again, he still felt as befuddled as before. He had thought the ache of being far from him would lessen now that he had seen him, had spoken with him. And yet…Louis still felt his heart beating faster whenever he thought of Harry. 

The truth was he still wished to be close to him. Perhaps his father was right and he was a fanciful creature prone to hoping for impossible things. Not for the first time he wished his mother were here to give him advice, to let him pour his heart out. What he would give to hear her voice one more time. He extinguished the candles in his bedroom and pulled the coverlet back. He lay in bed until mercifully sleep took ahold of him.

In the morning he awoke to find that the Paynes had indeed left during the night. Only a few servants were left to tend to the house. They did not overstay their welcome and left quietly after having breakfasted. 

He could sense Lottie’s excitement as their journey went on. He had no idea what type of house his father had selected for them but he knew it would most likely be in the most populous area of the city. In truth, he was more worried about Niall than their move. Letters and news travelled so slow that he might not know his fate for weeks or months. 

He tried to put it out of his mind but then his thoughts would move to Harry. His feelings perplexed him. It was not as if he was in the first flush of love and he had nine years to recollect and pour over every one of his memories. It didn’t come close to the real thing. Nine years had hardened Harry in ways Louis hadn’t imagined shaping him to be a proud man, and yet he still saw glimpses of the boy he once was. 

Harry wasn’t proud in the way that Louis’ father was proud. Harry had risen from the ranks fast because he worked hard, starting out from humble beginnings. From what he knew between scraps of conversation between Niall and Liam, Harry had not taken advantage of the fact that his father was an admiral. It would have been easy to jump up the ranks using his father’s influence but Harry had not. He had changed in so many ways and yet sometimes he caught Harry looking at him. He wondered if he himself had changed from what memory could recall. Did Harry catalogue the differences he saw just as Louis did? It was useless to wonder and yet he did.

As they drew closer to Bath, the carriages and horses began to clutter his view from the window. Lottie was almost vibrating next to him with excitement.

“I wonder if father picked an apartment house! Oh, or maybe one close to the street where we can watch people pass by!” He was districted by her chatter and smiled but he could not quite share her fervor. 

They had been stuck waiting in the carriage due to volume when suddenly their carriage veered to the left. Louis popped his head out of the window to see that they had arrived at their destination. It was, he grudgingly acknowledged, acceptable. 

He let the footman open the door and he urged Lottie out first. She spun in all directions, her eyes darting here and there. It was a neat looking street with trees lining the boulevard. The houses were done in a modern apartment style, the stone gleaming white. At least it wasn’t as garish as he had expected coming from his father. He paid the carriage driver and their footman began unloading their luggage. Lottie was already ahead of him, running up the stairs. The front steps were shallow and opened up to a small portico. 

Before Lottie could use the brass knocker, the door opened and a butler in a powdered wig appeared. He bowed and let them in. Inside, the foyer was gleaming with filigree and golden edging. Mirrors hung from every surface of the wall interspersed with paintings. Lottie gasped and Louis had to admit it was beautiful. A chandelier heavy with candles burned at the center of the room and Louis had to wonder how hard it was to light daily. 

“Is our father home?” Louis asked the butler.

“He is not in residence now but he informed me that he would be home for supper," the butler responded stiffly. 

Well perhaps that was for the best Louis thought to himself. His sister had already disappeared no wonder looking through every room of the house. 

The foyer led off in separate directions to the dining room and a small sitting room. Louis found himself at the foot of the stairs which led to the upstairs bedrooms. He had no doubt he would be given the smaller bedroom but he was not upset by this. He passed by a sumptuous bedroom that was no doubt his father’s and then down a hallway that led to two smaller rooms, his being the last on the right. Whilst he had been looking around, all of his belongings had been quietly set down in what was now his bedroom. It was cozy and the large window bathed the room in a peaceful light.

He decided to have a cup of tea and walked back to where he had seen the little sitting room downstairs. He rang for a servant and then spent his time perusing the small bookshelves. No doubt the books had come with the house for he could not see his father ever reading them.  
This passed for a pleasant hour until his sister begged for him to wander around the city with her. He agreed for he did not want her to be alone. This was not like the countryside where a person might not be seen for miles. Even he did not truly know of all the perils that could happen no matter how respectable the city.

As it was autumn, Louis shouldered on his heavier coat and took his sisters arm as they began to explore their new city. He could understand why so many people delighted in Bath. It was very fashionable. Ladies and Gentleman in all of their finery traipsed up and down the main boulevard. Lottie had heard of the Pump Room which was all the rage. Louis had set a date to meet his friend Lord Winston there and Lottie begged to go as well. He was reluctant, as she was only seventeen, but finally after much nagging he had agreed.

Louis’ time in Bath was spent mostly alone until the appointed date where he would meet with his mentor. It was not as unpleasant a city as he had feared for which he was surprised. He did not delight in such a big city and missed the country whole heartedly but he could not help but be a little taken in. 

The Tomlinson siblings rarely saw their father unless he was entertaining friends at their apartment. Even then they were told he was busy with the undertone that they should not disturb him. It was for the best but still it rankled especially to his younger sister. Louis tried to keep her in good spirits and he mostly succeeded. He tried to keep himself in good spirits as well though he had yet to hear about the welfare of Niall. He consoled himself that letters would be slow in coming from one city to another.

They had been in Bath for some weeks when finally the day came where they would meet Lord Winston to take a turn about the Pump Room. As Louis dressed for the day, he put on his finest breeches and tied his cravat to perfection. He brushed his hair into an artful fringe and lightly powdered his face. Everyone who was popular in society would be there and he did not wish to disappoint his mentor.

Lottie was beautiful in a brand new dress of pink which Louis helped to pick out. She plucked a rose from the small garden and fashioned it into a pin for Louis’ cravat, certainly a unique choice. They decided to walk to the pump room as carriages crammed every nook and cranny on the street. He knew it was not fashionable but it would take them less time. He saw the elegant figure of his mentor from some distance away and smiled. It had been too long since they last talked together in person. 

Lord Winston was the son of a man very high in parliament. He was not quite the age of Louis’ father but he was some fifteen years older than Louis. Baron Tomlinson and Lord Winston’s father had gone to university together and had become great friends. Louis remembered growing up with Lord Winston as an elder brother figure. He enjoyed his pragmatic advice although as he got older he realized Ben (as he could call him in private) had a bias towards the rich ruling class. This was the core reasoning he had for opposing Louis and Harry’s marriage. At the time it had seemed like practical advice but now Louis was not so sure. 

Harry had risen in the ranks and gained financially because of it. In fact, he had become quite wealthy. The lords and ladies of high society had suffered a decline financially. If Harry had been as rich as he was now nine years ago, would Lord Winston still have been opposed? Louis knew rationally that his friend only wanted the best for him but his personal bias towards the working class implied the opposite. 

Lord Winston was a handsome man, and at a certain time years ago, Louis’ mother had thought he would offer for Louis. Although he had many charms about him, Louis did not think they were a good match. He put it from his mind as he stretched out his hand in greeting. 

Lottie reached him first and curtsied before going in for a hug. Lord Winston looked surprised but his face broke out into an affectionate smile. 

“You have grown into such a beautiful young lady!” he exclaimed to Lottie. She blushed and took his arm. 

Lord Winston turned to Louis, “And you my dear look as if you are glowing. The city agrees with you.” Louis rolled his eyes towards the heavens at his old friend’s compliments. He was ever a charmer. 

They walked to the entrance of the Pump Room, Louis being the last to go in. He was shocked to find that the assembly room was just that, a large open space where people walked around in circles albeit in crowds or two’s and threes. 

He placed his hand on Ben’s shoulder. “This is QUITE the crush!” he semi shouted. The place was filled to the brim with people and their chatter.

“I know but how else will we see what the latest fashions are," Ben replied grinning. 

He let his sister and Lord Winston take a turn about the room as he walked towards the refreshments. He had expected something decadent but he only saw small glasses of sherry and tiny sandwiches that would not feed a bird. It was then while he was standing by the table that he saw the man from Lyme. He was startled to see that he had captured the man’s attention as his eyes had alighted upon him.

Louis looked to see where his sister was, but by then the man was standing right in front of him.

“I know we have not yet been introduced but I have just seen your father in these past two days,” the man said.

Louis was perplexed. He did not see his father often, but he had failed to mention he made a new acquaintance. 

“I’m sorry sir, but he did not mention you.”

“Perhaps it is because I saw him at the club I frequent here. Do you know White's?” Louis nodded and also grimaced internally. He had an idea of what his father had been doing there. The two choices were drinking profusely or gambling. It was no wonder that he had not mentioned it.

“I’m Thomas. Thomas Hillbrook. Would you like to take a turn about the room with me?” Louis saw no reason to decline and truthfully he was curious about this man.

Thomas took Louis’ elbow and folded it under his arm. They began to take a turn about the room. Louis could see Lord Winston’s’ eyebrows shoot up from where he was standing with Lottie. His face burned but he had no reason to be embarrassed. It just was not often he was near so handsome a man who gave him notice.

“Since we are not yet acquainted, I should introduce myself as well. My name is Louis, although I’m sure my father has informed you of that,” he said wryly.

Thomas’ face split into a grin and Louis was hard pressed not to smile back. Louis eyed him discreetly from the side. He really was a very handsome man. His features were even, his eyes were a lovely hazel color. Louis felt the warmth of the arm cradled behind his elbow.

“Actually, I believe we are related, cousins on your father’s side,” Thomas said as they slowly walked. 

“Perhaps that is why you seemed so familiar in Lyme, sir,” Louis answered.

“Indeed, it has been many years since I saw your father. There was a falling out between my father and his therefore I had no idea you existed until recently.”

Louis knew he was being slightly impertinent but his curiosity bested him and he asked, “Was the situation resolved?” Thomas deftly steered them around meandering couples, the heat of the room was stifling. Louis could feel his fringe becoming less stylish and more sweaty. 

“Indeed, it was and I am very fortunate that I have now made your acquaintance.” 

Louis was not immune to flattery and his cheeks pinked again. Before he could say more, Lottie had appeared next to him, tugging on his arm. Lord Winston appeared as well and their group shuffled to the side out of the chaos of the room. 

“What a crush!” Lottie exclaimed and Louis had to agree. How anyone was able to deduce the latest fashions in a room of this size with so many people was beyond him. 

“Louis, are you going to introduce us to your friend?” Lord Winston asked, a lone eyebrow raised. 

“Oh yes, this is Sir Hillbrook," Louis said. He noticed his arm was still tucked between Thomas’ and he hastily dropped it.

“Sir Hillbrook, this is my friend and mentor Lord Winston.” Here Ben made a casual half bow. “And my sister Lottie.” Lottie curtsied, a blush flooding her face. Perhaps he wasn’t the only one to notice Sir Hillbrook's handsome face. 

“A pleasure,” Sir Hillbrook said and sketched a bow. 

“Would you be so kind as to get me a glass of lemonade?” Louis asked Thomas. He wanted to see what Lord Winston knew about him without the subject of their conversation to overhear them.

“But of course,” he said and smoothly dipped between the walking crowd, weaving his way towards the refreshments. 

“Well Louis, it seems as if you have caught yourself an admirer," teased Sir Winston. 

“Oh hush,” Louis scolded. “But what do you know of him? He told me that he’s our cousin on our fathers’ side.”

The older man frowned, his face a study in concentration. “I do not quite remember what happened, but the elder Sir Holbrook fell out with your father, although I was not appraised of the situation. It seems as if his son is perfectly well bred though. His father has recently passed and he has taken up the title.”

“He mentioned seeing my father,” Louis said.

“Ah, well that IS quite a victory. I shall have to mention Sir Hillbrook when I see your father at the gentleman club.”

“It is just that I am curious about him," Louis replied.

“Ah yes I can see how curious you both are,” he said turning to Lottie and making her giggle.

By this time, Thomas had managed to wrangle two glasses of lemonade, one for Louis and one for Lottie. Louis hoped that coming to the Pump Room would not become routine but it was one of the more popular social spots. He had no doubt Lottie would want to come again.

“How long will you be staying in Bath, sir?” Lottie asked their newly acquired cousin.

“It depends upon how my plans go,” Sir Thomas answered. Louis frowned wondering what that meant but Lord Winston beat him to a reply. “Perhaps we could all attend a concert soon since there are many recitals going on this season.”

Lottie clapped her hands, a beaming smile on her face. “What a lovely idea!”

They arranged to call upon each other soon as the day was progressing and Louis wanted to go home for tea. They said their farewells to Sir Hillbrook and moseyed their way outside. The afternoon was fading fast, and the sun shone down upon the street in a fiery haze. Lord Winston expressed an interest to see their new home but refused to walk. Louis sighed internally for arriving by carriage was more fashionable but took an hour later than walking. Louis told him this but was cried off.

“Nonsense Louis we aren’t in the country anymore. Walking is not the thing.” He hoped Lottie would not take this to heart as he was quite fond of walking instead of taking the carriage with her. 

They arrived just before night fell and Sir Winston was delighted with their father’s choice. He deemed it fashionable. He declined tea and told Louis he would call upon him tomorrow with Sir Hillbrook. Lottie delighted in teasing him saying Sir Hillbrook must be smitten to want to see him so immediately. 

“I think perhaps he is just being friendly,” Louis said as they walked into the house. No sooner had the butler shut the door than a servant came towards Louis with some letters on a silver platter. He thanked them and started to sift through the pile. He was anxious to see if anything had come from Lyme. It had been a fortnight and still no news.

He was delighted to find not only a letter from Liam, but also a letter from Admiral & Mrs. Styles. He gave Lottie all of her invitations and walked to the small sitting area. While he drank he strong cup of tea, he opened the Styles’ letter. It was an invitation to meet with them in Bath. He wondered why they were in Bath since Admiral Styles said he preferred the country, but he filed it away in the back of his mind. He would of course accept. 

The second letter from Liam was more rushed and very concise. Niall was recovering and Liam thought there would be an announcement soon. An announcement of what? Louis cursed his cousin for failing to disclose the pertinent details. He went to bed burning with curiosity and hoped in the coming days he would find out more about what had happened in Lyme while he was gone. 

The next few days were spent shopping and taking walks about the park with Lord Winston and Sir Hillbrook. At times, Lottie would join them and he saw Thomas give her particular attention. It perplexed Louis for at some times, he seemed to favor one sibling over the other. He was not immune to flattery but he was at heart a cautious person. The flattery and compliments Sir Hillbrook gave both Tomlinson siblings was perhaps just his natural charming personality. Their father readily invited him to dine with them and his pleasant manner rendered the time with their father more enjoyable than usual. Louis did not know why he felt the need to be wary of Sir Thomas. Certainly all of his acquaintances delighted in his company. 

While they were walking in the park one day, Lottie and Thomas ahead of them, Sir Winston approached the subject with some little delicacy. 

“Do not think I have not noticed the particular attention Sir Thomas pays towards you,” he said. Louis paused for a moment trying to search out the proper words.

“I do not think he has shown me any marked attention that he has not shown Lottie or any of his other acquaintances.”

“My dear, you cannot fail to see that he is a desirable match. He has inherited a peerage and dotes upon you. The fact that he gives attention to your sister shows how he could care for your family. I very much think you could be proposed to by the end of the year.”

Louis wasn’t alarmed per se but he sincerely doubted that Sir Hillbrook’s intention was to marry him. Louis did not have a dowry like his sister, in fact he was destined to rely on his father’s charity until the end of his life. He doubted someone like Sir Hillbrook would propose to a spinster of indeterminate financial value. He did not think Thomas loved him either. Louis had a warm regard for the man but he did not entirely trust him though he was not sure why.  
“We will see what the future holds. For now, I am comfortable with his friendship. As I am with ours,” Louis finally responded. Sir Winston did not look convinced but they continued walking. 

The day drew near when Louis was to have tea with the Styles at their small hotel in the middle of the city. The edifice was white like many of the buildings in Bath. He was ushered into a dining room where the Styles were already seated. He smiled in greeting and Mrs. Styles warmly greeted him with a hug. Admiral Styles gave him a hearty handshake that shook his bones. They started with the perfunctory questions about health and family which led to Mrs. Styles saying

“Ah it has been too long since we’ve last seen you! We’ve had so much news these past few weeks! I scarcely know where to start!”

Louis knew precisely what he wanted to know first. “Please tell me how Niall is! Liam wrote to me but he was exceedingly vague.” Mrs. Styles and the Admiral shared a look, almost uneasy. 

“Is everything alright? Niall has recovered?” Louis asked in earnest.

“Oh yes my dear, he has made a quick and full recovery. It’s just that something very unexpected has happened. It was quite recent and something that I fear will shock you.”

Louis mind was in a whirl. What exactly could it be that would shock him so.

Admiral Styles took his wife’s hand. “Perhaps you know of our wish for Harry to marry. We had thought that his eye was set upon Niall.” Louis felt his heart crack. Although internally he knew this to hear it said aloud made him melancholy. Anne looked at her husband as he faltered. 

“The fact is dear, and this may shock you, Niall has been promised to another. Harry’s friend Zayn has proposed and Niall has accepted.”

Louis was glad he had not been drinking his tea when she dropped this revelation. Niall and Zayn engaged to be married? He could scarcely believe it. 

“But how did this come to be?” he managed to ask. 

“I see you are as shocked as we were! As you know Niall was recovering at Zayn’s place of residence and they were much thrown together that way. And Zayn has been so heartsick and melancholy of late, Niall must have changed something within him. I could scarcely believe it myself when Harry wrote to us.”

Oh god. Louis thought. If the Styles’ were so sure of Harry’s feelings for Niall what was he to think of this. Was he heartbroken?

“This is the most unexpected news. I am happy for them but it has happened so fast,” Louis said. He was preoccupied during their whole time with this news. He needed to privately mull over what he had been told. Mrs. Styles intrigued him with another piece of news before he could cry off and leave for home. 

“We have decided to buy Kellynch Hall but we are staying in Bath for the season. My husband’s health is not as robust as it once was and the winter will be much easier here than in the country. As it is, Harry will be visiting us soon.”

Another revelation Louis wasn’t expecting. Harry in Bath? Could he really expect to see him walking about the city? The vision seemed ridiculous.

“I have had a letter from Liam saying that he and his parents will be coming to Bath as well,” Louis managed to say. 

“Ah then perhaps we shall all go to the opera together when everyone has arrived. We shall send you an invitation,” Anne said.

Louis privately had no great love for opera but he knew Lottie would want to attend. It was the most fashionable event to attend even more than the Pump Room. He passed a pleasant interview with the Styles and promised he would visit again soon.

The day had already brought to him so many revelations he could scarcely digest them all. Zayn and Niall engaged to be married! Louis remembered the way Zayn had been observing his cousin and the way Niall had looked at Zayn and wondered if he was really that surprised. Close quarters brought even the strangest pairings together. He would be happy to see Niall again as he was buzzing with curiosity about the engagement. He knew Lottie would be ecstatic to hear about a wedding.

He rushed home to write a letter to Liam when he came upon a peculiar scene. Sir Hillbrook and Lottie walking arm in arm, very closely he might add near the front of their house. His forehead prickled. It was not anything strange to see a friend of their family with his sister but the expression on Sir Hillbrook’s face was…odd. He had no time to step back into the crowd to observe before Lottie saw him as he came closer.

“Louis! Sir Hillbrook was just about to accompany me to the Botanical Gardens! Would you like to join us?”

Louis very much would not like to, but neither did he want his sister going alone with any gentleman no matter how benign the reason. He was surprised their father had allowed it. 

“Of course I’ll go with you but do you mind if I check for a letter first?” Thomas was looking at him in a speculative way but Louis didn’t care. He ordered Lottie to find a carriage and then quickly bounded into the house. The butler was already in the foyer, white wig as pristine as ever. 

“Are there any letters for me?” Louis asked. 

The butler sniffed and gestured towards the silver tray that lay on the marble table. A singe envelope lay there. His heart leapt; it was from Liam! He hurriedly opened it and scanned the contents. Liam and his parents were coming to stay in Bath for the winter. They would send a missive when they arrived. Louis grinned. It seemed as if everything were conspiring towards making Bath the place to be. He did not mind for he missed his friends terribly. He could not wait to hear about Niall and all the details of his engagement.

He stepped back outside just in time to see Thomas shutting the carriage door and ordering it towards the Botanical Gardens. This time Louis’ frown deepened as he knew he had told them to wait. Again, he felt a particular sensation of distrust. He did not know why but he did not like the idea of Lottie going somewhere alone without a chaperone. He quickly caught up with the carriage as it had not turned into the lane.

Knocking briskly, the door opened with Lottie saying, “I thought I had seen you! Thomas insisted that it was not.” Louis alighted into the carriage and he made sure to sit next to his sister. If Thomas was put out he did not show it and they continued on their way. 

Louis did not know why Sir Hillbrook had been so insistent on going to the Botanical Gardens, but Louis had to admit the flora and the fauna was splendid. In such a busy city as Bath, it was almost bizarre to see a place where everything was green and growing. The autumn sun was blazing high as they wandered the paths together. A seasonal maze was near the center and no wonder there was such a crowd to get in. 

The three of them walked the path together but soon it was clear to see this was more of a lovers meeting place. Louis blushed as they happened upon a couple kissing near the shrubbery and Lottie tittered. These were not things one walked through with a younger sister. 

“Sir Hillbrook perhaps we should go back to the main garden and peruse the flora there,” Louis said. Part of him wondered if this was the reason that Sir Hillbrook wanted to take Lottie alone. But surely he would have expressed interested in her solely if that were the case? He did not want to mistrust a potential suitor for his sister but common sense also told him Lottie was impressionable. Indeed, Louis had been but a few years older when he had been persuaded not to marry. He wanted her to experience her first season without immediately getting attached.

“Oh, do let’s go for tea. I’m parched,” Lottie said. 

Indeed, Louis was feeling the same way as the gardens were overrun with people. It wasn’t just the bourgeoise partaking in perusing the gardens. Children ran through the fauna, heedless of their minders. Young women in flocks made their way through the exhibits, paper fans hiding their smiles. Elderly women sat on the benches, talking and gossiping with their friends. 

Louis was glad when they reached the exit hoping to find a cafe where they could have afternoon tea. The Gardens weren’t the only places filled with people as it seemed that all of Bath had come out this Sunday. Louis was reminded painfully of his Sundays at Kellynch where all was peaceful and he could spend his time tending to his own garden. He was pulled out of these thoughts literally by Lottie who grabbed his vest to maneuver him into the crowded cafe.  
Thomas gallantly offered to find them a table when Louis spotted the one person he hadn’t expected to see.

Harry’s broad back was right in front of Louis’ eye line. His right arm was leaning on the cases of pastries and sweets near the front of the shop. He was frowning as if puzzled by his choices. Louis must have made a choking noise because Harry turned his head to the side and visibly started at seeing Louis. 

“Mr. Tomlinson, I’m surprised to find you here.”

Had Harry ever called him Mr. Tomlinson before? He must have had when they were just getting acquainted the first time but it sounded so wrong coming from his mouth. 

“Captain Styles, I’m as surprised as you are. I know that your mother and father are staying here for the season but I did not expect to see you here,” Louis said as he come within arms distance of Harry. This was perhaps the closest he had been to him since their last meeting. Louis hoped he was not staring but he could barely help it. The years that had separated them had made Harry even more handsome than when he was younger. It jarred Louis every time he saw him again. 

Harry smiled down at him and Louis felt something inside of him blossom. It almost seemed if Harry were taking in Louis as well although he knew that was probably foolishness on his part. 

“Indeed, I have come to fetch them some pastries for their tea today,” Harry said, gesturing to the case of baked goods where his pastries were being boxed up.

“My sister, my friend, and I were at the Botanical Gardens but it was such a crush of people. It seems as if Bath is always this way,” Louis spoke wistfully. 

Harry regarded him thoughtfully. “You must miss living in the country. I remember how fondly you loved the open space and the woods.” Louis was a little surprised although he supposed his love of Kellynch was known by all.

“Yes, although Bath is not as terrible as I was expecting.” He did not add that Harry’s presence added to the allure.

“I hope that you and your family can join us for the opera this week. I know my mother sent you an invitation,” Harry said.

“Oh! That sounds lovely! I am sure we will join you.”

Harry was smiling at him, in almost the soft way that he used to when Louis felt a hand touch his lower back. Startled, he whipped around to see Thomas smiling congenially towards Harry. 

“Louis, love, we’ve secured our table.”

Louis wanted to push Sir Hillbrook's hand off of his lower back. He wanted to tell him that he certainly was not his “love”. The presumption the man had made! He stepped away so that he was no longer being touched but not before he saw Harry’s eyes darken. The mask of cold indifference that he had not seen since two months ago slipped back into place. 

“Excuse me Captain, but this is Sir Thomas Hillbrook. Our cousin.” Thomas and Harry both bowed but where one was elegantly lazy, the other was stiff as a board. It had suddenly become stilted between the three of them as they stood in awkward silence. 

“I wish you good day Lou- Mr. Tomlinson,” Harry said with a jerky head nod and then took up his parcel and shouldered his way out of the crowd. 

“Well that was rude. He did not even wish me a good day,” Thomas said, disgust in the tone of his voice. 

Louis wanted to roll his eyes but instead remained polite. “Would you lead the way to our table?” he asked, his smile sugary sweet. 

He wondered if Sir Hillbrook shared his father’s ideas about working men. Their conversation was forced after Harry's departure. Thomas was so casually dismissive after Louis told him Harry’s occupation. Even with Lottie chiming in to say how wonderful he was. He did not like this sudden turn of Sir Thomas’ personality nor did he appreciate being fobbed off earlier that morning.

He wanted to rush home to search for their invitation to the opera but instead sat impatiently as his two companions gossiped and talked about fashion. Usually he could politely chat and pass the time doing something as tedious as socializing but the chance to see an opera with Harry and his family was something he’d be remiss to turn down. He cursed Thomas’ interfering with his conversation with Harry as he had not yet asked him how he felt about Zayn and Niall’s upcoming nuptials. He was curious to know what he thought and if it had changed anything at all. His impatience must have been noticeable for Lottie did not linger after tea. They said their farewells to Sir Hillbrook and directed the carriage back home.

As Lottie sat across from him, he hesitated in asking but it had to be done. 

“Do you fancy Sir Hillbrook, Lottie?”

“Fancy him? No, I do not think so although it is fun to flirt with him,” she answered. 

“He has not made any overtures toward you?”

“The subject has never come up and if he were making any overtures, I would think that he would make them towards you. That is the impression I have,” Lottie said.

“I do not think that I would welcome such an overture on my part. I am comfortable being on my own. Are you very certain you do not like him?”

His sister smiled at him and tugged at his hand. “You do not have to worry about my heart or my honor dear brother. Thank you for looking out for me all the same.” They lapsed into silence, each lost in their own thoughts.

When they had arrived home, Louis rushed into their house only to find his father standing beside the mail tray. 

“Louis, do not rush about it is unbecoming,” his father said. He was holding all the letters in one hand. 

“Is there anything for me, sir?” he asked politely knowing that the best way to get information was to act in accordance to his father’s strict will. 

“We have received an invitation to go to the opera with the Styles this coming Tuesday.” Louis grimaced. He had hoped that his father would not be joining them. 

His father continued, “I took the liberty of asking Sir Hillbrook and Lord Winston as well so we can all share a box together.”

Louis felt all his excitement at the venture deflate. He remembered how Lord Winston had taken an instant dislike to Harry and he had no doubt Sir Hillbrook had done the same. The thought of being in the Styles' Opera Box had not even occurred to him and now to find out that he would have to endure his father’s company crammed together in one sitting area. 

Louis faked a smile towards his father and said, “I will be looking forward to it sir.” He almost wished he could confide in Lottie about everything, Harry, his internal feelings, his suspicions about Thomas but he did not want to worry her. He wanted her to enjoy her first foray into society and city life. 

Baron Tomlinson kissed his daughter on the cheek as she came to stand beside Louis. “I trust you can take your sister to find something appropriate to wear to the opera.”

Louis knew this was an unspoken blessing for him to procure clothes for himself as well. He never had the need for formal wear before coming to Bath.

As it was November the days became overcast and cold. Louis and Lottie huddled up together to peruse the fashionable district of Bath. Lottie wanted a red gown and was most adamant about the choice of fabric. Louis just wanted something pretty and soft. He knew his best attributes were his blue eyes and his distinctive figure. Ready to wear clothing was becoming all the rage as the clothes were able to try on and adjust in person without huge cost. They could browse at their leisure the trends of polite society.

Louis was trying on formal trousers and vests. He didn’t need a blouse but he looked wistfully at the lace and velvet. He couldn’t fathom spending so much for something he’d wear only once or twice. He was never so aware of his spinster status than when he needed to use money. Damasks, silks, lace, and other fabrics dotted the store. Lottie was admiring a silk red dress with a lace petticoat. His father would spare no expense for Lottie so he agreed that she should try it on. 

For himself, he chose a blush pink silk vest and a pair of tight-fitting trousers. In the small fitting room, he examined himself in the glass. He had to admit that the pink brought out his eyes and the roses in his cheeks. The trousers were very snug, almost too much so but as he blushed to himself, they made his figure stand out even more.

There were small glass cases with rings of various sizes. He did not own jewelry except for Harry’s ring around his neck. Louis wondered if Harry had forgotten he had given it to Louis for why had he not asked for it back? Was Louis so forgettable that he could not remember? Looking back on yesterday, Harry did seem to still wear rings. Perhaps he had more beautiful jewelry in his collection that he did not miss one. Still Louis had to admit it was strange. 

He was pulled out of his thoughts by the appearance of Lottie modeling her gown. Louis smiled at his sister’s happiness, she seemed to glow. It was no wonder that Sir Hillbrook had seemed interested in her. Louis knew he would have to inevitably have a talk with his father about Sir Hillbrook’s intentions. He did not think that he would give Lottie away so carelessly in marriage but he could not be sure. 

They credited their fathers account with their purchases and sent for the carriage to take them home.

As the carriage wheels rattled over the cobblestones, Louis pondered his predicament. He hoped that he still would not be nervous for the next day, but how could he not be filled with anxiety. He was worried about Sir Hillbrook and his intentions towards his sister. He was worried about Lord Winston and if he would caution him against seeking a friendship with Harry. There was no love lost between those two men and Louis would have liked to keep them separate. He wondered if he would have done anything differently, if he had not made his mistake all those years ago. Would he be as persuaded by others opinions now as he had been then? He did not think so. Lord Winston’s advice while he appreciated it was no longer his guiding light for how he should live. It was not as if he did not trust him but his opinion of Sir Hillbrook was suspect. The hinting of courtship, of him attempting to shift Louis’ opinion towards him. It was becoming clear to Louis that while Lord Winston might have his best interests at heart, he was subtly manipulative. The revelation was nine years too late and if Louis been aware of this before, he could not say if he would have rejected Harry. 

If only Louis could attend the opera with Harry and his family without the awkwardness of years past. It seemed like he could never get away from the weight of his memories. Not for the first time, Louis wished he knew what Harry was thinking. He did not expect anything out of their renewed acquaintance. He felt perhaps they could become tentative friends. Nor did he feel he could ask Harry directly what was in his heart, what he felt. 

It seemed the day wore on as if it would never end. Louis hung up his purchases when he arrived home. Their father was out yet again so he and Lottie had a quiet dinner at home. Louis knew she was excited about attending the opera. The country had many things but nothing so glamorous as the opera. Her enthusiasm did not deter his anxiety and after dinner he was left to his own devices until he finally decided to retire. He spent the next day nervously watching the clock until it was evening. 

✥✥✥✥✥✥

The night air was crisp and there was a bite of winter frost. Louis shared a carriage with Lord Winston, Sir Hillbrook, Lottie, and his father. It was rather cramped and Louis was smushed into the window. The lanes were lit by lamplight and the moon rose high above the cityscape. 

To say Louis was anxious would be an understatement. While his family and friends talked around him, he twisted his handkerchief in his hands. His feelings were out of sorts. He wanted to see Harry and yet did not want Lord Winston to see him. He doubted his father would even remember Harry or what had happened nine years ago. 

As they filed out of the carriage, Louis saw that all of fashionable Bath had come out for this event. This was another level from the Pump Room not only the rich and wealthy but royalty too would attend. The atmosphere was already stifling in the grand lobby of the Opera House. Louis was craning his neck to see around the crowd. Women in pastel gowns, matrons in demure colors, men in their dandiest outfits dotted the crowd. 

He had hoped to spot Harry before his father and Lord Winston did. Harry's name had never come up in any of their recent conversations so perhaps they were unaware. Not for long he thought as he spotted Harry’s unmistakable broad back. He hesitated before breaking away from his group, but he wanted to be the first to approach him. 

He made his way through the crowd to where Harry was standing beside his parents. Anne saw him first and smiled while Harry still remained unsuspecting. Louis smiled back at her and then tentatively touched Harry’s back. 

It was the first time since he initiated contact since they had met again. The heat of Harry’s skin burned through Louis’ hand. He gasped and then suddenly it was gone as Harry turned to face him. Louis wanted to say it was only his imagination but their gazes held. It suddenly seemed as if they were the only two people in a crowded place.

“I just wanted to tell you that my whole family agreed to your invitation,” Louis said. He hoped his voice wasn’t as shaky as he felt. 

Harry’s eyes traveled from Louis’ face to beyond his shoulders as his mouth tightened. 

Louis was hit with a sudden urge to confess everything to him. He was tired of keeping secrets, of still harboring feelings for him. Perhaps if Harry knew then he could keep away for both of their sakes. He wanted to finally tell him how he had regretted his choice almost instantly all those years ago. He had almost resolved himself to do just that when Lord Winston sidled up to him. 

“Louis? Our box is ready," he was giving Louis an inquiring look. Louis tried to hold his ground. “I was just saying hello to Captain Styles.”

Lord Winston made a noncommittal noise and took Louis’ elbow. “Come along, Sir Hillbrook is waiting.”

Louis felt himself being strong armed away from Harry. He shot a fleeting look of dismay towards him hoping it would convey his feeling. His last glimpse of Harry was of his hooded expression, his body turned away.

Louis couldn’t concentrate on the opera. Not when he sat down next to Thomas, not when Lottie asked him for the program, and not even when the sublime sound of music started.

After the first act he needed to get some air, to be away from his party. He made his excuses and found himself back in the lobby. He didn’t even mind he was missing the second act. Why was it that every time he tried to communicate with Harry, it turned out badly? He almost felt as he did when he was nineteen. Nothing he seemed to say or do came out right. He was standing alone near the edge of a huge window, a crimson velvet settee looked inviting but he noticed someone drawing near to him. 

“I am afraid we didn’t get to talk much before your ‘friend’ took you away,” Harry said coming within a hair’s breadth away from him. Louis winced at his tone. He knew exactly why Harry hated Lord Winston and in his place, he would probably feel the same. 

Louis could feel Harry's warmth so close beside him. It was painful to remember how he had once been cradled in those arms whenever he wanted to be. Harry's profile was turned towards the window, the moonlight catching on his skin. Louis usually felt small as he was quite petite but never so much as when he was standing beside Harry. 

“We are not as close as we used to be, Lord Winston and I. In fact, we have not recently been in company together,” Louis said and hoped Harry believed him for it was true. He no longer relied on Lord Winston’s advice as if it were the only truth. 

“May I say that I am glad about that?” Harry asked and for once there was the glitter of good humor Louis remembered. He smiled up at him. “You may say that.”

“And may I also say how beautiful you look tonight? I had forgotten how well you look in pink.” Louis tried in vain to keep the furious blush off his cheeks but he could feel it painting his cheeks red. 

“Thank you. You look very handsome,” he said.

Sometimes Louis had the sense of falling back in time with Harry. Every time he was near there was a sense of knowing where he was, a sense of comfort. That he was seen and known. It should seem silly since they had spent nine years apart but he felt it so strongly. He wondered if Harry could feel it too. The silence lengthened between them. Louis waited for a moment and then asked what he’d been dying to know. 

“I suppose you have heard of Niall and Zayn’s engagement?” Harry looked down at him, a small smile on his face and nodded.

“And you are not displeased by this are you?” Louis inquired.

“Why should I be displeased? One of my best friends is marrying your cousin who has made him the happiest man alive, or so Zayn says.”

Louis was a bit perplexed and yet a spark of hope ignited in his heart. He moved to sit on the settee and Harry followed sitting close enough that their legs touched.

“I had thought perhaps you had felt slighted,” Louis said. The urge to remain somewhat subtle lay within his words. He didn’t want to know and yet he longed to know if Harry’s heart was occupied. Harry propped his long legs in front of him, shifting to the side.

“I was never foolish enough to lose my good sense let alone my heart to someone that I would not make an offer for,” he said, somewhat enigmatically. 

Louis didn’t know how to respond so this time he let the silence linger. He was more at ease with Harry than he had been before. Perhaps it was because they had no audience, no prying eyes around them. “Why are you out here instead of watching the opera?” he asked. 

Harry was never one to shy away from eye contact so it wasn’t surprising that he looked straight into Louis’. “I was rather hoping I would find you out here.”

Louis’ heart flooded with a slow warmth. He began to ask Harry about the navy, about the time they spent apart. In return, Louis talked about his life without mentioning all the hard parts, his father’s gambling, his suspicions about Sir Hillbrook. As the night lengthened it became almost second nature to think that maybe he could consider Harry a friend. He was easy to talk to now that he wasn’t being cold or imposing.

The gleam of Harry’s rings caught his eye as he brushed his hand through his hair. Before he could bite back the impulse he said, “Your hair is so much shorter than I remember.” 

Harry laughed. “It’s not practical to keep it any longer than this although I admit I miss it sometimes.” 

“It suits you very much,” Louis said and wondered how he was being this brazen.

Harry smirked at him and Louis caught his breath. “I remember quite well how you much you admired my hair.”

Louis’ face was quite literally burning up. He fought the urge to tug at his cravat and Harry must know what he was doing. His palms felt slick where they lay clasped in his lap. The reminiscence of how he would pull on Harry’s hair as they shared stolen kisses. The way he had tugged it, pressing him closer and closer as Harry was deep inside him. Perhaps Harry didn’t know what kind of thoughts this brought up in Louis’ mind but his smirk told him otherwise.

Harry’s expression turned serious and for a moment Louis was worried. “I have wanted to tell you how pleased I am to see you again,” he said.

Louis’ heart was racing. “I feel the same way.” He hesitated but forged ahead, “There’s so much that I would like to tell you.”

Louis felt the gentle touch of Harry’s hand on his own. He looked up shyly and this time he could feel Harry catch his breath. “I would be happy to listen to you talk for however long you wished,” Harry stated.

As they had been talking, they took no notice of the time. Louis was startled out of his trance as he heard the thunderous sound of applause. 

“It seems we missed the entire second act,” Harry said, smiling. 

“I find that I do not mind so much,” Louis responded, and he wondered if he looked as soft as he felt inside. 

The crowds of people were now slowly trickling out and Louis craned his neck to see where his family was. It wasn’t as if he wanted to hide Harry but he knew how much Lord Winston in particular disliked harry. He briefly remonstrated with himself as to why he didn’t confess everything to Harry while they were alone. The truth was that he was afraid Harry would reject him, that he was making everything up in his mind. He didn’t know how he would cope if Harry no longer felt anything for him at all even friendship. 

Lord Winston and Sir Hillbrook came into view first and Harry turned his head to see who Louis was staring at. They both had extremely annoyed looks on their faces at spotting the two of them together. The hand on his tightened and then it fell away. Louis felt a pang of loss at the press of his fingers. Sir Hillbrook stood aside as Lord Winston came to stand above Louis. 

“We thought perhaps you were unwell but it seems you are fine. Thomas was worried,” he said, masking his annoyance with a polite smile. 

Louis glanced at Harry noting how he had donned his own mask of indifference again. Inwardly he sighed. “I am sorry. I didn’t mean to alarm you.” 

He had no reason to explain his absence other than wanted to be away and near Harry so he offered none. It seemed they were at an impasse as Harry and Lord Winston pretended the other didn’t exist. “I hope to see you soon Captain Styles,” he said and let himself squeeze Harry’s shoulder in farewell.

He could feel Sir Winston’s eyes on the gesture as he fell in beside him. He didn’t turn to look to see if harry was still watching. 

“You could have informed us you weren’t coming back in,” Ben hissed in his ear. “Sir Hillbrook was looking for you.”

Privately Louis wondered if this were even true. He didn’t even know why Sir Winston wanted him to believe Thomas’ intentions were romantic in nature.

“And now here I am safe and sound,” Louis replied, not caring if he was being rude or not. 

“I see that the company you have been keeping has altered your attitude,” his father said, appearing beside Sir Hillbrook. 

Louis dearly would love to give his father a piece of his mind. He did not know if being so open with Harry had caused him to feel more defiant than usual but it was hard to tamp down a retort. He doubted that his father had even known Harry was in town. He must have been informed by his friends. Louis would love to tell his father just how successful and wealthy Harry had become if only for him to feel some hint of remorse but it would be of no us. He knew his father would never change his mind once it was made up.

At least Lottie had nothing but good things to say about the opera experience. As their carriage rattled home she told Louis of the various compliments she had on her dress. 

He had no doubt by the time Lottie would attend her first ball, she would have gained a significant following. Not only her fashionable peers but also potential suitors. He frowned thinking about it. His gaze lifted towards Sir Hillbrook was in turn looking at Louis with a frown of his own. Louis quickly schooled his gaze and brought his attention back to Lottie. He did not like the gleam in Sir Hillbrook’s eye but still had no cause to doubt him. 

What Louis wanted most in the world was to continue his conversation with Harry. He had no idea where he was lodged or what his daily routine was like. The schedule of a sailor varied and he had no idea what to expect. When they arrived at home, Sir Hillbrook was the first out of the carriage and as Louis stepped down he kept a tight hold on his hand. Perplexed, he tried to tug his hand out of the tight grasp. Thomas gave his hand a lingering kiss that sent a shiver down his spine but not in a pleasant way. Lord Winston stepped out next and gave the scene an appraising look.

The next days passed in a haze of pent up energy, at least for Louis. He had no engagements, nothing really to do until dinner with his sister. He did not feel like shopping or writing any letters. He just felt restless. Thoughts of his conversation with Harry lingered in his mind. He had seen Harry with his guard down and could almost kick himself for not confessing everything to him. He had almost made up his mind to go for a walk when he heard the front door open and slam shut. Louis had been sitting in the small formal library. He looked up from where he had been sitting and to his utter astonishment it was Harry that appeared in the doorway. He spotted Louis, made an abrupt turn, and then came back looking extremely agitated.

“I hear congratulations are in order,” Harry bit out. 

By this time, Louis was all astonishment. He took in Harry’s out of breath figure with confusion. “I’m sorry?” Louis asked, unknowing why the man in front of him was so perturbed. Harry began to pace in front of him.

“It has come to the attention of my parents and I that you are to be wed. Since my parents have purchased Kellynch Hall they would be happy to extend a lease to you and your intended if you so wish.”

Louis sank back into the settee cushions; he was sure he looked a fool. Harry continued to stare at him with an expression that he had yet to fathom. His usual immaculate tailoring was skewed, his cravat unbuttoned. 

Louis straightened his posture and said, “I do not know who is spreading these falsehoods but I have received no proposal nor am I likely to.”

Harry stopped his pacing and became very still. 

“You mean to say that you are not engaged to Sir Hillbrook?”

Louis was flabbergasted. He immediately stood and cried out, “Of course not!”

He watched as Harry came closer to him, his eyes dipping to Louis’ mouth. “There is no danger of you accepting a proposal from him?”

They were now standing eye to eye or rather eye to chin in Louis’ case. “There was never any danger of me accepting from that particular gentleman, no.” 

At that very moment, the outer doors of the library were pushed open and Lord Winston came through like a thundercloud. Immediately Harry was three feet away from Louis. The unfortunate timing seemed to sour the atmosphere. Louis desperately wanted Harry to stay, to send Lord Winston away so that they could finally talk. Harry caught his eye and Louis was relieved to see him soften. A look of understanding passed between them and Harry quietly took his leave but not before roughly brushing past Lord Winston.

Louis retired back to the settee as Lord Winston came to sit next to him.

“Are you quite out of your mind Louis? I cannot believe you are seeing him again. I thought you were past that,”

Louis wasn’t sure what “that” was meant to imply but he was tired of his decisions being called into question. “We have been friends for years have we not? Do you question my logical thinking? I have renewed my acquaintance with Captain Styles because I wish to. I did not realize I would have to run my friendships through you for approval.” 

Lord Winston looked a bit discomfited. but did not back down.

“Louis, you have been one of my dearest friends. I have always tried to give you sound guidance. I helped you decide to refuse Captain Styles all those years ago and I still stand by that. I helped steer you away from a life of hardship.”

Louis let out a small sigh. “You may have had the best intentions for me and while I may have been spared hardship, I gave away a life with love.”

“I am sorry that you feel this way. but frankly my dear boy you can do better. Has not Sir Hillbrook singled you out of all the eligible bachelors despite your lack of dowry? Does that not speak of his total lack of guile? I assume he will propose very soon.”

“Have you been spreading these rumors about Sir Hillbrook and myself?” Louis asked. 

“I do not know what that naval captain told you but I have done no such thing. It is common knowledge that he is thinking of marriage. The gossip in the gentleman club is that he will offer for you. Is this not wonderful news?”

Louis may have thought this could be pleasant news once upon a time. However, he was not so easily fooled as he had been at nineteen. More than ever before he trusted his instincts and what his heart allowed him to feel. 

“I hope you have not encouraged Sir Hillbrook in his attentions, Lord Winston. I feel obliged to tell you I have no intention of marrying at this time.” The look of astonishment that came over Sir Winston’s face was comical and Louis almost wished he had decided to stand up however nominally to him years ago. 

“You do know that your father will be in a rage when he hears of this? He has been encouraging Sir Thomas’ pursuit of you.” 

Louis felt an anger within him that had been lying dormant for years. How dare his father treat him as if he were cattle. As if he were a piece upon a chessboard. Did he expect for Louis to just give in? 

“As you see my father more than I do, I hope that you will alleviate him of those aspirations. Now If you do not mind I must say good day.”

Lord Winston looked as if he would argue and then sighed heavily. “I do hope you know what you are doing.”

Louis kept his face resolutely to the side as his mentor took his leave. It would not do to quietly stew in his frustration and yet it was all he could do. He started to pace as Harry had done. The nerve of his father and Lord Winston to go over his head with Sir Hillbrook was irritating in the extreme. Perhaps Thomas had flirted with him a bit when they had first come to know each other but Louis would never presume he had marriage on his mind. 

He wondered how much of Sir Hillbrook’s desire to marry him was based on his belief in Baron Tomlinson’s exaggeration of their family wealth. He began to puzzle out his feelings. He could admit that he had been attracted to Sir Hillbrook in the beginning. However, there was something that he could not trust about him. He thought of how Thomas had wanted to whisk Lottie away to the gardens alone and frowned. He was sure there was something he was missing. Sir Hillbrook had not even announced his intentions towards Louis so how was he to know what his father had been scheming. It was not as if Louis were a popular figure in London society or considered an heir. He wondered how Harry had heard the gossip before him.

He wandered out into the hall to see if any letters had arrived. On the silver platter, lay a missive from Liam. He eagerly tore it open and was happy to see that the Paynes had just arrived in Bath. In the letter there was an invitation to visit them for tea at noon the very next day. Louis dashed off a quick response in the affirmative and sent the footman on his way. Louis would be glad of the company. 

Standing in the grand foyer of his father’s new house, he felt the coldness of the marble, the yawning silence. He missed the crisp country air, the wide-open spaces. He could not help but feel enclosed and restless. He wondered if Harry had been invited and then shook his head. He knew that next time he would be bolder. He would tell Harry exactly what was in his heart. Would Harry believe that he had never loved anyone but him? Had he fallen in love with others since they had been apart. Louis longed to know everything. 

The stolen moments they had recently shared were not as they had been. It was bittersweet in a way that Louis had no way of expressing with words. The night at the opera had opened his mind to the possibility that even though they had been parted they still shared the same understanding. He felt it whenever Harry was near. Since Harry had left his cold disdain behind, there was the warmth and comfort he had remembered but now there was more tenderness. He could not convince his father, or Lord Winston of this he knew. His father only cared as long as he could do something useful for him.

It was the first time since he arrived in Bath that he felt homesick. And then he remembered Harry’s proposal to lease Kellynch to him. It was astonishingly kind. If Harry felt any remorse for their past attachment, did it bother him that Louis would be married even if it was not true? He thought of how Harry had been pacing, a wild look in his eye. His heart was even now harboring a secret hope that he dared not even think of.

It was then that he heard a commotion in the foyer, the loud banging of the front door. He stepped out into the corridor where he saw Lottie running towards him with tears in her eyes. 

“Lottie, my goodness what is the matter?” Louis cried, aghast that his sister was weeping. She grabbed onto Louis’ torso and held on for dear life. Louis put his arms around her and slowly rubbed her back. The front door was hanging wide open as he saw his father barge in.

“I have NEVER in all my years as a gentleman been treated in such an abominable way! I should have that man stripped of his title!” his father was shouting quite angrily. Louis could feel the servant’s presence melt away from the sudden sight of his father’s temper. It had been too often to visit in their new home. 

“Father, please tell me what is the matter?” Louis asked. He was still holding Lottie as her crying quieted down.

“I shall tell you what is the matter. That insolent fool Sir Hillbrook dared to ask for Lottie’s hand! After all that I had talked to him about! He made me look a fool at my club, White’s of all places! Daring to ask me for my daughter’s hand when he had made it clear he was after yours instead.”

Louis was growing tired of his father’s machinations. After all it had landed them in Bath with no lasting security and dwindling funds. “He found out I had no dowry, did he not?” Louis asked, calm even though his own blood was up. 

His father did not even look abashed by the question. “Of course he bloody well found out. I do not know who disabused him from the notion of marrying you. but he had the audacity to ask my permission for Lottie’s hand while in plain view of all my peers. All the most important lords and gentleman of the city.”

Lottie looked up at her brother tearfully. “I do not want to marry him. I cannot believe he would even think that I would say yes.” 

His father was continuing on his merry rant. “Of course it would have been no bother for him to marry you. I should have known he was only after the dowry.” Privately Louis thought he would know only because they were cut from the same cloth but he dare not say that out loud.  
“I hope that you told him you did not give your blessing.”

His father stopped his pacing and moved towards his two children. Louis did not back down as his father’s steely gaze came upon him. 

“I told him in no uncertain terms that he was no longer welcome in this house. I should not have expected him to marry you anyway. It is over and we shall hear no more about it. Our family connection has been severed,” he said all of this with finality in his tone and Louis did not envy the enemy Sir Hillbrook had made of his father. 

Their family connection was tenuous at best before their brief reconciliation, but now it was final. Louis led Lottie away into the small sitting room and rang for tea. She sat sniffling until she burst out, “I thought you had been in love with Sir Hillbrook. I am so sorry. I had no idea he even wanted to court me.”

She looked so miserable that Louis had to put a stop to it at once.

“Dearest, I never had any feelings at all towards him. My heart was never in any danger of falling in love with the likes of him no matter what father would have you believe. I only hope that you are not hurt by these events.”

His sister's clear blue eyes regarded him with warmth despite how watery they still were. 

“Oh no. Sir Hillbrook is not my idea of a husband I should ever want. It was nice to have attention but I am relieved father has ended our association. I was just upset that you might have been hurt.”

Louis put his arm around his sister. “You have nothing to be sorry or worried about.”

“Oh, but Louis,” she said, “father was wrong to say that Sir Hillbrook should have married you. He must not have considered your feelings in the matter.” Louis stood up as the tea tray came in laden with sweet biscuits and strong tea. 

“I have stopped caring what father thinks of me. I am saddened that he would have given Sir Hillbrook permission to marry me but I would not have accepted his offer.”

Lottie was sipping her tea and gazing at Louis almost sadly. “Father underestimates you Louis and I am sorry that he cannot see just how wonderful you are.”

Louis smiled at his sister who was reminding him more of their mother every day. “We shall get through this trying time as we have always done yes? Together.” 

It was with a rather lightened heart that he retired for the evening after making sure Lottie was settled. He was not exactly happy that his suspicions of Sir Hillbrook proved to be true. He was not unpleasant to be around but his duplicity was despicable. For that reason alone and the fact that he had sought Lottie’s attention as well was enough to gain Louis’ ire forever. He could not help but wonder if Sir Hillbrook had been boasting of marrying Louis while being ignorant to the fact that he was not the heir. How else would Harry have known about a suspected engagement? 

As he prepared for bed, he took off the chain from around his neck. The signet ring Harry had given him was plain gold with ruby enamel in the center. He slipped it on his finger and gazed at it by candlelight. The ring was too big for everything but his thumb. He set it on his bedside table so not as to lose it and blew out the candles, falling asleep immediately.

The Paynes were renting an apartment house in the middle of a busy section of Bath. He dodged carriages and shoppers as he made his way towards the entrance. He was let inside by a butler who imperiously led him upstairs the sitting room. The door creaked open and he spied Liam first. 

“Louis! You have come!” Liam cried delightedly alerting Niall who was across from him. They both raced over to hug him and Louis laughed as he was lifted off his feet. Mrs. Payne was watching from her corner chair and smiling. 

After the usual introductions and questions about good health, Louis turned to his cousin and said, “You have so much to tell me! When did Zayn propose? What happened?”

Niall had the good grace to blush. “Well, as you know I was unconscious for days. I woke up and I had no idea where I was. Zayn was there by my side throughout my whole recovery. He was so kind and attentive and it just happened like that," Niall snapped his fingers. 

“We are here in Bath to shop for both of our wedding clothes,” Liam said.

“Oh, I do hope you’ll join us, you have such impeccable taste.” Louis was gratified to hear this and acquiesced. 

They were settled around the sofa when the door opened and Harry walked through. Louis immediately felt his heart race a bit faster. 

“Captain Styles! How do you do? We were just talking about our wedding arrangements; would you care for some tea?” Mrs. Payne asked. 

“That would be lovely,” Harry said with a charming smile. Niall, Louis, and Liam were seated on the sofa while Harry sat at the desk facing towards the window. He turned so that his body was angled in their direction.

Louis could not help but be preoccupied with Harry in the room. He wanted so badly to talk with him alone.

“How is Zayn? Will be coming to Bath?” Louis asked, struggling to keep his attention on the subject at hand. 

Niall's face lit up. “Yes! He should be here by the start of spring. His leg has nearly healed. We hope to have a summer wedding. Of course you shall be in the wedding party.”

Louis felt his heart glow that Niall looked so happy. He wondered why Harry was being so quiet but brushed it off. Liam reached over to grab his hand, suddenly sober faced.

“It is all over the town what happened between Sir Hillbrook and Lottie,” Liam said. Immediately Louis attention was back on him.

“You have heard about that already?”

“Oh yes. I heard someone talking about it last night at the theater. I do not know if it is exaggeration but they were saying your father was going to call Sir Hillbrook out for a duel!”

Louis agreed that it was completely false when Niall broke in, his brow quizzical. “But did he not fancy you Louis? I had heard the engagement was to be between you and Sir Hillbrook and not Lottie. Was that not so?”

“Oh no, of course not! I was never aware that he was even interested in marriage. He never even asked to court me. I would have said no regardless.”

He could feel Harry’s scrutiny and hastened to add, “Sir Holbrook was not my idea of a true gentleman where his actions and deeds provide the measure of their worth.”

“Well said! To be honest I am quite glad. I cannot believe he would treat you so callously and ask for Lottie’s hand instead. Imagine if you had been in love with him!”

“Did you know that he is married? His wife has been trying to reconcile with him and that is why he was in Lyme. The poor woman was devoted to him," Liam said sympathetically.

Louis was shocked. Sir Hillbrook had the audacity to chase after Louis and his sister while being married. His opinion of him lessened even more. How had he not seen Sir Hillbrook’s true colors? Had he really hidden them that well?

“Has he no honor? No fidelity? I find that the more I learn of the man, the more I cannot believe he was ever truthful or good hearted.”

Niall was frowning, “It is indeed vile. I cannot believe his wife would still want to be married to him.”

“I think that when you are in love for that many years, it is hard to give up that love,” Louis said. He hoped he was not giving too much of himself away in that answer although his circumstances were different.

“Do you really think so? Would your heart be as constant even through such trials?” Louis pondered this for a moment. He heard a chair scrape and the scratching of a pen. He glimpsed Harry writing feverishly. 

“I think that when you love someone so fully and with all of your heart and feel that in return you will continue to love that person even when all hope is gone.”

Niall was looking at him admiringly. “That is so beautiful, I hope that Zayn and I will prove your theory right.”

“I do grant you that Sir Hillbrook did not deserve his wife’s devotion at all," Louis said because although it was a testament to her goodness, it made Sir Hillbrook even more despicable.

“Truly he is a dishonorable creature and I am glad we are rid of him,” Niall said. “But on to happier things, I hope that you will join us later for a concert? I am not sure what time we are arriving but you may meet us there if you wish.”

Louis agreed and jumped when Harry suddenly leapt from the writing desk. 

“Goodness Captain Styles, are you alright? You look agitated,” Mrs. Payne said, hand to her chest. Louis turned to look at Harry as he was hastily shoving a letter into an envelope.

“Forgive me ma’am I suddenly remembered I have an errand to run for my mother. I shall see you at the concert tonight. I bid you good day.”

“Well of course, good day,” she said back to him. Louis felt himself just as perplexed as she.

Niall and Liam were arguing over white vs cream wedding invitation colors when Louis felt Harry come to a standstill beside him. 

He laid a creamy white envelope on Louis’ lap. His eyes looked at him with an earnestness that took Louis’ breath away. As soon as his hand touched the envelope, Harry was whirling away and out the door.

“I wonder what was the matter with him,” Liam said and then continued to show Liam the bridal swatches.

Louis glanced down at the envelop where scrawled upon it was “To Louis T.-”

Immediately his fingers fumbled to open it. Within, there was a single sheet of paper with Harry’s writing,

_“I can no longer suffer silently. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Please tell me that I am not too late, that your feelings have not changed. I offer myself to you wholly, even more than when my heart was broken nine years ago. I have loved none but you. I have been weak, unjust, and jealous but never inconstant. Your presence alone has brought me to Bath, not my families wishes. For you alone I have thought and planned for. Can you see this? Can you have wondered? I must leave here uncertain of your feelings. I will return tonight. A look, a touch will be enough to decide my fate.”_

Louis’ heart was beating erratically. Never in his dreams did he imagine that Harry had felt the same. For so short a letter, it was something that would take him days, weeks to recover from. The first thing he felt was an overwhelming happiness. His heart had never felt more free, that Harry still kept him in his thoughts all these years, that he had been as constant as Louis himself. He wanted to weep, he wanted to dance, but was so overwhelmed that he could not move.

“Louis, are you quite alright? You have gone very pale?” Liam asked, apparently having been talking to him with no response.

Louis was suddenly seized with the need to see Harry, he had to talk to him, to explain everything. 

“Yes, I actually feel a bit faint, I think I need to get some air,” he said. This caused some alarm and took him fairly a half hour to convince them he was well enough to leave. He appreciated the concern but he felt anxious and needed to leave directly.

He did not even know where Harry had gone, did not even know what he would do when he saw him. As he set out on his search, he glimpsed Harry pacing not 20 feet away from the Paynes’ townhome. Had he been there this whole time waiting for him? Had he thought that Louis ignored the letter, that he had been passive? All of these doubts were in Louis’ mind but he paid them little attention as his feet took him towards Harry. It seemed a lifetime, it seemed a year until he was in front of him at last It seemed that all at once they were standing in front of each other, so many words unspoken.

“I read your letter,” Louis said, breaking the silence.

Harry was looking at him with such intensity. He was neither smiling nor frowning, remaining silent. 

Louis could take it no longer and bridged the gap between them, taking Harry's larger hand in his. He felt the callouses of hard work, the warmth enveloping his smaller hand.

“Harry, I have never loved anyone but you. I was so foolish all those years ago to give you up. I have never regretted anything more. I was young and naive and I allowed myself to be turned against you. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”

“Oh, my darling no. You do not need to ask me for my forgiveness when I have treated you so ill. I have been the fool,” Harry said. 

Finally, after years of dreaming, Louis was swept into Harry's arms. His head fit beneath Harry's chin, his arms encircled him. He had never felt more loved or precious than in this moment. 

“There is so much we have to talk about my love,” harry said, tipping Louis chin up. Louis felt himself beaming, his heart could burst. 

“Let’s take a walk,” he said. 

✥✥✥✥✥✥✥

They ended up walking in the park where Lord Winston and Sir Hillbrook had taken him. Only this time Harry was holding Louis’ hand, a brand of belonging.

“I am glad that we no longer keep everything a secret between us. Since our meeting again I have seen that sharing our thoughts and our feelings between us makes for better communication. As it is, I feel as if we had never been parted,” Harry said. He had drawn Louis arm through the crook of his elbow and his hand was caressing Louis’ knuckles making it hard to think. 

“I hope that we never again suffer from that miscommunication,” Louis said. Then looking up at Harry said teasingly, “You must have been jealous indeed if you thought Sir Hillbrook had a claim upon me.”

Harry's grip on his hand tightened. “I will admit that I was jealous although I thought I had no right to be. Seeing him act as if he was your protector while being so informal with you. It did make me realize that I was still in love with you.”

“Then in this case I am glad he was there for it brought us closer. Do not fear, he had no hold over my heart.”

Louis let himself bask in the comfortable silence, in the way that Harry was gazing at him so softly. In all the years that Louis had known him, he had never seen such an expression on his face. Harry pulled him aside, stopping suddenly. 

“I know I must ask your father for your hand but I will ask you first. Louis, would you marry me?” Harry asked. 

Louis suddenly wanted to laugh, he never thought he would hear such words again. They were in the middle of a crowded park, so far away from his old home, different to each other in ways that neither them had never foreseen. 

He stood in the cold dreadful autumn weather, in the middle of a city that he would not have chosen himself, looking into the eyes of someone who had always loved him, he knew this was something like fate. He could feel it in his bones. His eyes become very bright as he was struggling with a sheen of tears. 

“I have kept your ring these nine years. Of course I will.”

Then Harry was crying too and lifted Louis up, spinning him around. Louis thought he would die of happiness right there. 

“What if your father disapproves of our union?” Harry had asked doubtfully as he was walking Louis home

“Then I hope you shall abscond with me to Gretna Green,” Louis said. He was half joking but he saw the worried expression on Harry’s face. They had yet to stop holding hands and Louis squeezed their fingers together.

“Nothing will persuade me to leave you,” he said and he meant every word. 

It was beautiful to see Harry’s face totally devoid of that cold look. He confessed that he had acted disdainful only because seeing Louis had shocked him. 

“I had to pretend that I did not love you, I deluded myself into pretending to be interested in Niall.” Louis shivered in distaste. “I never expected you to remain as you are, the sweetest and most loving of anyone I have ever known.”

Louis blushed at this and would have hidden his face if he had been able.

“I had thought that you would have been married already or that your father would have twisted your character far beyond repair,” Harry confessed.

They were coming closer to the house and soon it would be dark. Harry stopped him before they reached the steps. 

“I am sorry that all I can offer you is being the husband of a Captain in the navy. You deserve more and I hope to endeavor to deserve you."

Louis was on the verge of crying again and he had to breathe deeply. “Before you ask my father for my hand know that you already have my heart and everything I come into the world with. I love you.”

And right in the middle of the street, in front of anyone that happened to pass by, they kissed. Louis was smiling too big for it to be a proper kiss but it was the most beautiful thing he had felt. 

“We shall have to practice that once more,” Harry said as they broke apart.

“I look forward to it, Captain Styles.” 

✥✥✥✥✥✥✥

The prospect of asking for Louis’ hand a second time was still a daunting task for Harry. Even though he knew if he was refused, Louis would still marry him. He had hoped that after all these years by being a successful member of his majesty’s navy that it would signify something to Baron Tomlinson. 

As he requested an audience, Louis remained by his side. He was grateful for the support and could not help but be amazed by how quickly it seemed natural just to be with Louis. He had been thinking that nine years apart would have shown some chasm, some unreachable distance between them. He did see the slight differences in how Louis was more assured of himself but in all the vital ways Louis had remained the same. In fact, he had become even more ethereally beautiful than when he had been nineteen. Harry himself had become taller and broader, all the manual labor of running a ship had strengthened his muscles. Louis looked even more delicate beside him. He looked at the slope of Louis’ forehead, his soft fringe, the easy grace of him. He almost could not believe so much had happened in one day. He was allowed to look at Louis, to marvel that such a sweet creature could love him. He was the luckiest of men even if he still felt unworthy. 

Louis caught his eye and smiled reassuringly. He wanted to hold Louis fully, feel his skin upon his own. It was not enough that he had kissed him once, he needed to do it again and again. He was not so unaware of decorum that he would throw caution to the wind just to hold Louis in his fathers’ house. He would wait until they could truly be alone and he would show Louis exactly how he felt where no words were necessary. He was brought out of his musings by a gentle tap to his rib. Louis’ father was before them eyeing them somewhat cautiously. Harry had not seen him in nine years and where Louis had blossomed, his father had regressed. He looked weary.

“Sir, may I have the honor of an audience? This concerns your son and I.”

Baron Tomlinson did not look surprised by this. “You have come to ask for my son’s hand in marriage have you not?”

Harry glanced at Louis to find him similarly surprised. 

“You may think I have forgotten you Captain Styles but I have not. I recognized you as soon as I saw you at the opera. You may have changed but not that much.”

“To answer your question, yes. I have come to offer for Louis," Harry stated.

Baron Styles was looking at his only son with an inscrutable expression.

“And If I say no you will just elope?” His eyebrow pointedly raised. 

“I have already accepted Harry’s proposal so yes, father, I would,” Louis said briskly.

Baron Tomlinson ran a hand over his face. “It seems to me that you do not need my permission but you have it. I will not admit that this is what I have desired for your future and I do not approve but there we are. I trust you take Louis with no dowry?” he asked Harry. 

“I would marry him even if he were penniless,” Harry replied. 

Baron Tomlinson looked as if he were about to roll his eyes but waved his arms in a conciliatory gesture. “You may as well tell your sister,” he said. 

Louis was incandescently happy. As soon as his father had walked away, Harry was gathering him up in his arms. Lottie had then appeared and been shocked by their embrace. It was up to Louis to soothe her ruffled feathers about not being told the whole truth. Soon they were all sitting in the small parlor while Louis told her about the past, about everything that had happened up until their engagement. 

“I hope that you will make me a bridesmaid in the wedding,” she said.

“Of course! You are my dearest friend and sibling. I would not wish to have anyone else.”

“To imagine,” she mused, “we will soon have two other weddings to attend as well.” She remarked this quite wistfully and Louis wondered if she had lately been in the company of someone she desired. She had certainly been going to many balls as of late. He filed it away to think about later. 

Louis took Harry up the servants’ staircase to his bedroom and as Louis shut the door behind them Harry raised his eyebrows. Louis blushed, but there was no lustful reason why he wanted to bring Harry there. He ushered him into the small sitting area. He took off the chain from around his neck. The ring gleamed golden in the firelight as Louis perched himself next to Harry on the settee. 

“You really have kept it after all these years. I thought I must have lost it,” Harry said.  
“I hope that now we are engaged I may still wear it around my neck instead of on my finger,” Louis said. 

Harry looked amused. “I doubt that would fit on your finger, sweetheart. Your hands are too small.” Louis faked being affronted but he was smiling. 

“I’ll buy you a new ring, one with a sapphire,” Harry said. “One that will match your eyes.”

The temptation to curl into Harry now that they were alone was too great for his self-control. He slid onto the settee, burying his face into Harry’s chest. He felt an arm tug him closer. He brought his face up to stare into Harry’s eyes. He had forgotten how green they were. He was suddenly pushed back full body into the settee and he gasped.

“I think a short engagement do you not agree?”

Louis was hard pressed to think of anything now that he was covered by Harry’s body. “I think we are of the same mind,” he said breathily and Harry laughed. It was the warmest Louis had felt in a long time. 

✥✥✥✥✥✥✥

Louis and Harry were married a month later in the beginning of spring. Lottie was the sole family party, as his father did not attend. This did not hurt him for he had expected it. Lord Winston had become reconciled with the fact that Louis was to marry someone that he had disproved of. He had apologized to Louis weeks before the wedding. Louis was astonished that he would admit he was wrong but graciously accepted the apology. 

It was a small affair, but none in attendance could say that they had ever seen two people more in love. Niall sighed and remarked how romantic it was. The Styles, overjoyed that their son had settled down, gifted them with Kellynch Hall. Louis could not believe it at first. His childhood home, one that he had loved so dearly, was his and Harry’s alone. It would remain in his family for the generations to come.

They agreed to spend their wedding night there, the place where nine years ago Louis had given himself to Harry fully. Things had finally come full circle except now they were equals in everything. 

Harry had dismissed the servants for the night. Louis’ old room had never looked smaller than with Harry standing in it. 

Louis was nervous. What if he did not live up to Harry’s expectations? What if his body was no longer pleasing? His eyes were on the floor, his hands were shaking. 

“My love, do you not know me by now?” Harry asked. He came to stand before Louis, his shirt was unbuttoned and Louis could see the expanse of his chest. 

His head was tipped up by Harry’s hand. “Do you know how many times I have dreamt of this? When I was a lowly sailor in my bunk on the stormy seas. When I toiled day and night on my ship with no rest. I thought of you. I thought of your touch. You have never disappointed me. The reality is even better than the dream.”

Louis felt hot in his skin. He reached out slowly to trace Harry’s ribs. 

“May I touch you now?” Harry asked. 

“Yes, please,” Louis answered breathlessly.

He began by slowly removing Louis’ lacy nightshirt and peeling off the rest of his clothes. He was standing before Harry with nothing but his heart beating out of his throat. Harry was devouring him with his eyes and Louis felt himself getting shy again. “I want to take the rest of my life to look at you, to praise you,” Harry said.

He skimmed Louis’ throat with his lips, his stubble catching on Louis’ soft cheeks. Louis let out a small giggle. “I do not remember you having facial hair,” he said.

“And do you like it?” Harry asked, taking pains to kiss every part of Louis’ neck.

“I think I will like the marks it will make,” Louis answered and Harry growled deep in his throat.

“You are the sweetest boy and yet such a minx,” Harry said. He was lifted into Harry’s arms, his legs locked around his waist. His lips on his Harry’s neck. 

He was thrown lightly on the bed. Harry tore off his own clothes with no thought to where they fell on the ground. Louis tried to steady his breathing, his hands fisting the coverlet.

Harry’s body was a work of art to Louis. He only had one experience to go by but past Harry did not hold a candle to the present. Harry was battle scarred and leanly muscled. Louis was caught by the memory from nine years ago when Harry had been a gangly boy. He had been so passionate in his love making, a bit clumsy but that had made it all the sweeter. He could see the same ardor in him now. He was broader than Louis and his cock lay heavy and hard where he was above Louis. He blushed a little as he saw that at least one part of Harry had not changed. 

“Why do you blush, my love? I think that marriage to me will cure you of those.” 

He reached over to the nightstand where he had placed a vial of oil earlier. “For I hope to enjoy your body and satisfy your pleasure every day of my life,” he said as he dipped a finger into Louis slowly. 

Louis wrapped his arms around Harry's neck whimpering. “Please give me more.” Harry's sole finger become two as he prepped Louis’ to take him fully. 

“I have waited so long for this,” he said. Louis felt as if he was holding on for dear life. He was sure he would start crying by the end of the night.

Harry was breathing heavily just fingering Louis, he was close to bursting just by hearing his cries. 

Louis was kissing Harry’s ear and trying to breathe through the intrusion. 

“Alright, sweetheart?” Harry asked as he breached Louis’ hole with three fingers. 

“God yes please just get in me, I don’t want to wait. Please make me yours.” And then Louis was truly crying. He never would have expected to feel this again, this loved. 

“I do not want to hurt you, let me add a bit more oil, my love.”

L

ouis’ hands were in Harry’s hair, his name upon his lips like a prayer. “Make me yours,” Louis breathed.

Harry finally deemed him ready and was about to slip on a condom when Louis’ stopped him. “Just you,” he said. 

“Are you sure? It will be the devil to clean up.”

“And you shall meet the devil if you do not,” Louis retorted. All shyness had departed as he as laid out in front of his lover. 

Harry chuckled. “As you wish,” he said. 

The first push into Louis’ and he felt as if he were entering heaven. 

Louis was silky smooth and lush. Louis himself was trying to breathe, Harry was a lot to take.

Harry slowly pressed fully inside, careful not to push Louis too much. Louis tugged his hair particularly hard and harry caught up his wrists. He slowly kissed the inside of one then held them both down by Louis head. He began working deeper into Louis.

Louis jolted and moaned. “Faster,” he said and Harry complied. Harry’s pace was rough and intense but careful.

Louis was not going to last long as he had already perceived. It had been nine years since he had felt Harry like this and that memory was bittersweet. This was something altogether different, this was the first time of many for the rest of his life. His eyes were wet with tears. Harry was gazing at him with intensity, fucking him into the mattress. His cock was weeping pre come but Harry’s hands prevented him from touching himself. 

“My first and only,” he said to Harry as he started coming untouched. 

Harry was beyond words. He felt Louis tighten and let go of his pleasure.  
He continued to pound into him as Louis went boneless. The dreamy look in Louis’ eyes, his gasps as he was jostled along were his undoing. He came in Louis, filling him and satiating his own body.

Louis winced as Harry pulled out and manhandled his body so that he was snug against him. His more petite body held by Harry’s taller frame. Louis had never felt more satisfied as Harry held him close to his chest. It almost felt unreal if not for how his body felt. His breathing fell in sync with Harry’s, the soft pattern of rain outside the only thing that intruded.

He felt Harry’s fingers touching his used entrance and the sensation was not unpleasant though it made him squirm.

“You make me feel quite possessive,” Harry said.

“Well you just marked me in the best way possible, husband,” Louis replied. 

Harry growled and pressed his half hard cock against Louis’ plush lower half. “Call me that again,” he said. 

Louis shivered. “You seem very proud of yourself, being able to take me this way and come back for more.”

“You tease me,” Harry accused and Louis can’t help but push back against him. 

“I have had nine years to think of such things," he replied as he canted his head back to look at him. He almost laughed to see the disgruntled expression on his face. He grabbed Harry’s arm and pulled it across towards his heart.

“You overwhelm me. I never expected to find you again. I never expected that you would still love me.”

He kissed the wedding ring on Harry’s finger and then rolled his unsuspecting body over. His eyebrow quirked to see Louis on top of him, Harry's wrists now in Louis’ small hands. His smirk faded as Louis drew his hands up towards his chest slowly. He used Harry’s hands to tease his own nipples and arched his back. 

“I hope your claims of stamina are not unfounded sir,” he said. He rolled his hips down towards Harry, close enough for Harry’s cock to almost breach him but not quite. Harry’s hands fit around Louis’ waist, making him feel small but powerful. 

“It not, perhaps I could still call upon Sir Hillbrook…,” Louis teased. Harry let out an animalistic sound as he slipped into Louis. Louis gasped and began to slowly ride him. His thighs were burning, sweat dripping down his body.

“If you think he could take you better, darling,” Harry said after a particularly hard thrust that had jostled Louis, “you might want to reconsider.”

“You know I would n-ever,” Louis stuttered out.

“I think you just like to see me envious,” Harry said.

“I confess I do,” Louis said. 

“I think you know that it drives me to distraction. I think you like knowing that.”

As much as he could manage, Louis tried to hold a mock superior expression but it was difficult to manage with Harry inside of him. He was getting tired, his balance off kilter. In one smooth motion Harry was flipping Louis over. He was suddenly empty as Harry brushed his face across Louis’ neck biting and scratching against it with his stubble. Each rough drag against his skin was a mark of belonging. He arched up into it as Harry buried himself to the hilt inside of him.

“Everyone will know as soon as they look at you tomorrow that you were thoroughly debauched,” Harry said, his thrusts becoming slower, dragging. 

Louis moaned at Harry’s words still so sensitive from his previous orgasm.

“They’ll know how well I took care of you, how well I fucked you. You’ll barely be able to walk, little one.”

“Harry please!” Louis begged. He was getting so close once again. 

“I have loved none but you and only you," Harry said. His pace had picked up until the bed frame was being knocked against the wall. Louis’ hands were clawing down Harry’s back, sure to leave marks. 

“Harry, I love you,” he said and for the second time that night he came again. This time he felt as if his body was floating, the pleasure was exquisite. He barely felt Harry coming inside him again. 

He was roused from his stupor by the warmth of a rag cleaning his body. 

“Here, my love, sit up for me,” Harry said. 

Louis dragged his spent body halfway upright as Harry draped a huge knit sweater over his body. Louis sniffed at the sleeves which covered his wrists smelling of musk and sea salt. 

“Do you expect me to wear your clothes now?” he quips. 

Harry is still naked, much to Louis' appreciation, blowing out the candles and tugging the curtains apart so that a sliver of moonlight shone through. Louis can see the fine red marks his nails left on Harry’s broad back and feels a bit smug. 

“As much as I would enjoy that, my clothes are too big for you but you look delectable in my sweater.” Louis couldn’t help but blush. 

“It’s dark and I can still feel you’re blushing, darling.”

“And I can almost hear your smirk.”

Harry returned to the bedside with a silver cup which he passed to Louis. It was filled to the brim with water and Louis drank it gratefully. “Thank you for taking care of me,” he said. 

“It is an honor for me to take care of you for the rest of our lives,” Harry said. 

Louis felt the coverlet being flipped back and Harry’s body sliding into the bed. Strong arms gathered him up and a kiss was pressed to the back of his neck. He relaxed back into Harry’s body, peaceful. He knew that dawn would come swiftly. They still had struggles to go through but after nine years apart they were finally together. He let Harry’s steady breathing pull him into slumber like the tides of the ocean.

✥✥✥✥✥✥✥

**Author's Note:**

> My prompt was prompt 343: Jane Austen Persuasion AU where Louis is Anne and Harry is Captain Wentworth. Exes to lovers.
> 
> Thanks to Anna for being my amazing angel of a beta, I couldn't have written this without your help! Thanks to Maddy for being my sounding board and helping me out. For anyone reading this, thank you!


End file.
